When you are carrying upset in your heart, be it sadness, making someone wrong, holding resentment, judgment or anger, sexual energy may be missing and at most, going into the act of sex will be for the wrong reasons.
The idea of sex is a very personal matter, and when there is any upset at the person you hold the most dear to your heart, it makes sense that the sexual drive may be lacking or absent all together. Is it more important to you to have sex, or is it more important to you to be connected to the person you love? What I mean is, do you find yourself driven by the desire of sex more than the drive to have love in your heart with the person dearest to you?
Perhaps the person dearest to you, you have given up on, or perhaps you have been resigned about something you are upset about and have decided not to deal with it, talk about it or confront it with the person. When I say “Being Upset”, I mean simply being upset. Not everyone is willing to admit that they are just simply upset with the person they love. They might find it more appealing to focus instead on sex, or focus instead on another person, or another activity. But when it comes down to it and after much time has passed, the reality is you may be upset with someone. Maybe you left the relationship all-together and are even trying to date someone new, but don’t even know why you are 1. either not attracting anyone new in your life, or 2. are not feeling fulfilled by the new person, or 3. have no sexual drive with the new person at all. Consider that you just may be upset with the person you were previously with, and on many levels still love them very much!
If you are still open to the person you deeply love, cheers to you for realizing your love, and being committed to waiting until the time is right to work out your differences. Not everyone is willing to wait to work things out. Many people often give deadlines and say, “I will give you 6 months,” or “I will give you 1 year to x,” or “If this doesn’t work out by the end of this year or next year xxx….” and what you have is an ultimatum, and ultimately a heart that is blocked and shut down, and incompletion with a solution with the exact person you love the most!
When your heart is shut down from the person you love the most, do you still have sex with them? What is your sex like? Does it satisfy and fulfill you? Or do you feel something is missing and an emptiness?
No one is perfect, and upset happens. You are a human being. We all have upsets. They come and go and then you work it out. But when you don’t work it out, what do you do? How do you deal with your upsets with the person you love the most? Do you avoid them, walk away and try to resolve it on your own? Do you talk to your friends for advice? Do you shut out the world and pretend it didn’t happen?
And when there is something missing with the person you love the most, do you know that you are actually just holding onto something, and upset with them?
Sometimes the act of forgiveness, love, and letting go of something that happened or how you are feeling about someone close to you is harder than many people know. Deciding to forgive someone, and telling yourself you forgive them, is not nearly the same as truly dealing with your feelings, unraveling them as far as they need to go, and then knowing 100% for sure you have forgiven them is a completely different thing! Admitting to yourself that you are upset, your feelings are hurt and telling the real truth to the person you love, is the first step in truly forgiving them, and when you can do that, you just might start to unravel your feelings and open up your heart again! And if your heart is open, doesn’t it only make sense that your sexual drive returns, your passion and your state of peace and satisfaction?
It is a true gift! And, sometimes we need an outside person to kick us in the head and open our eyes! And then, all the rewards show up!