Sex and Sadness

Sex and Sadness

Sex and Sadness

How can you feel passionate and sexy when you’re sad? How can you open up to your sexuality when you are grieving a loved one who died, or a family member of yours is very ill or hurt? How can you feel sexual when you and a partner recently broke up?

Opening up to your sexual essence is nearly impossible when major life events show up. Even one of these events can take someone down a downward spiral for months, but all of them at once seems like a Tsunami of change and where something major is happening to teach one a lesson, or to help grow towards greater enlightenment. I am talking about my personal life, and using it to help others. One of my dearest and best friends passed away recently, and her viewing was in fact on my birthday this year.  It blew me away to realize how someone so young could move on. Her health was suffering, and even though she was much younger than me, she struggled to get to the source of her pain. She had a history of trauma and I spent many years trying to help her. My lesson in my relationship with her, is the same lesson in the bigger picture of all of these events (marriage ending, her death and a loved one getting severely hurt). The lesson is, I can’t heal everyone! As much as I want to help people, and perhaps be their hero, I can’t help all. And, I deeply tried to help her, but she rejected me year after year. The more I tried, it seemed the more she pushed me away. It’s amazing that right before her heart stopped, weeks prior she finally reached out to me, and asked for guidance on her spiritual development. I waited for over 15 years for her to be interested. But then it was too late. At 33, she moved on, with a beating heart that stopped and her breath became silent. Perhaps it was too much for her to try to heal in her body, and her personality would not allow it. Now, she can heal on the spirit realm, and perhaps in a new body and a new life, she can heal this life.

The end of a relationship also takes a toll. It’s like a death unto itself. You have to interact with that person in a whole new way.  Grieving someone that is still living is a challenge alone. You wonder why things couldn’t work out. You wonder why they refused to heal, or were unwilling to admit their own responsibility in their own choices. You wonder why they project all their anger and blame of things they did, onto you. You can question it over and over again, but mental illness sometimes cannot be figured out. And, when the other person chooses not to heal or get help, the only thing left is to grieve. Being their friend is a challenge, because you don’t know when and if they’ll try to blame you for their own feelings again. It was such a challenge in walking away this time, that I decided to write about it. And perhaps, write about the struggle. And, maybe it could help others who loved someone with a mental illness. It’s NOT your fault! It’s not my fault. My heart is as big as The Divine Mother! But knowledge and wisdom in how to deal with someone like this, helps to end the pattern of being pulled back in, when they put on a beautiful act of being nice again. I’ll consider writing more of the story of this. Perhaps it could be a short story. However, the lesson again, is “I cannot help so much that I sacrifice my life away!”

And to top it off, my father fell and hit his head! He had a concussion with delirium. He had memory loss, but only half the time. The status is, is that he’s getting better! I am deeply grateful he is getting better and I’ll find out more tomorrow how much better he is. But at the height of his fall, I was there. I visited him for multiple days, and spent 5 or 6 hours a day just sitting with him, waiting until he woke up, helping him eat, and talking and laughing. It was very healing to be with him in this way, and he would say often, “why are you crying? I’m ok!” But I didn’t feel like he was ok. I said, “But you’re different!” And he said, “But my heart is the same!” And I smiled and said, “you are right!” It’s amazing how alike we are, and how much we get along; 2 Aries and my whole life I had no idea how similar we are until now. I am grateful to still have more years and time to spend with him, and I will continue to grow in the acceptance and understanding, that I am NOT superwoman, and I cannot save and fix everyone, but a part of me, will still always try!

So, the point of this writing, Sex and Sadness….how can one be in touch with their sexuality when they are feeling sadness? Well, simply, they cannot! One has to go through the sadness, to get to the sexiness. Many people try to ignore their feelings, their sadness, their anger, or disappointment, etc and go straight to the sexual feelings. And, then they wonder why nothing sexual is happening! Well, the answer is right in front of you! You have to feel all of your feelings, the happy ones AND the sad ones in order to feel to juicy ones! Bad feelings don’t go away by ignoring them, then they only get suppressed deeper. The more you can feel your painful feelings, the more bliss and joy you can feel when they move through you and release out of your body! And, the body WILL tell you when painful feelings are there! It ALWAYS will, so you might as well go through them, and not try jumping over them! There is a much greater reward in the end when you do!

“Instead of getting on medication, for stresses, just FEEL your feelings! Then all that stress and heavy feelings just simply go away! But you have to feel deeply, and at your core, or it will only come back until you finally face yourself again!”

Erectile Dysfunction – A Common Phenomenon

Erectile Dysfunction – A Common Phenomenon

After about a dozen phone calls of people seeking help with their personal erectile dysfunction issues, I thought it was time to do something about this, and write to you.

Many men go through a stage in their life that takes them off of their normal routine of a healthy sex life, and often it comes as a shock to them; not knowing how to turn things around, and sometimes go back to the way it was just the day before. And, after many months of feeling frustrated, mostly from their partner wanting them to be able to be fully erect and feel the full sensation they had before, they start looking for answers.

First off, I want to say, ladies, please have patience for your honey’s. Sometimes they don’t know the source of this and they really do need help. It is important that they know YOU love them, accept them, and can be fully supportive of what they are dealing with. #1 this is utmost of importance. It will help them feel nurtured, cared for, and in the end get to the other side of this condition.

Second, guys, it will take a lot of compassion on your part to let your women go through what they are going through given they were always used to things being a certain way, and now they need to adjust to the changes and learn within themselves how to accept your situation, and eventually support you to heal it. If this core foundation doesn’t happen, this is where a lot of relationships start going under and can, without warning, walk a path of termination. This is not what I would want for you, however, some people can only handle so much disappointment. The good news is, is that there are answers and this CAN, I am telling you, be cured. It will take DEEP soul searching on your part, a determination to heal your inner self and take charge of the problem. Going to the route of viagra or other drugs is NOT the solution. It will only lead to other health problems later, but I can’t make that decision for you. You have to.

So guys, soul searching IS the answer. It’s not the fastest solution, and it’s not an easy one, but it is the most powerful solution. And, with Tantra and other Spiritual Healing practices, you can find yourself getting closer to your old healthy body again, and sometimes, EVEN HEALTHIER!

Sometimes the issue stems from one or more of these things:
Your Health
Stress
Past Traumas

Often when you have a health concern, this can cause stress. Often when you have stress it can be created in many ways; work, your closest relationships, family and on many occasions Past Traumas that you never even knew were traumas, but your body took them in and integrated them into a part of you, and now it has caught up with you. The most noble thing you can do would be to allow yourself to be vulnerable, surrender to what your body is telling you, and go deep within. Not every modality out there will help you. Just like food; some people like chocolate, some like vanilla and some like strawberry. We all have different likes and dislikes and our bodies respond to different modalities in different ways. The best thing to do is experiment. However, now that you are here reading this, I would like to say that practicing tantra, spiritual healing, doing emotional release practices and strengthening your sexual muscles will help. However, with a little guidance, a little push and a little practice.

Some other modalities I recommend are (I offer most of these btw):
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
NET (Neuro Emotional Technique) (I have a great referral here)
Matrix (Matrix Work – Core Energetics)
Re-Alignments
IET (Integrated Energy Therapy)
Psychotherapy
Breathwork
Tantra
Caring for your health and eating proper foods
Yoga
Acupuncture (I know of a couple really great clinics around Phiadelphia that cost $20 to $35)
Getting Massages
and more!

Some reading material: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Spiritual-Healing-3882/2009/12/Erectile-dysfunction-1.htm
http://healing.about.com/od/ritalouise/a/erectiledysf.htm

If you would like a woman and someone different than here, let me know and I can give you another referral. Or, of course, you can see me! Good luck to you, and much much love on this journey!

Asttarte Deva

Interfaith Ministry and Tantra

Interfaith Ministry and Tantra

First let me tell you why there is a blog titled Interfaith Ministry and Tantra on here.

When I began the path as a Healer, it started from somewhere. That somewhere was considered my beginning, and when I first began the journey of awakening, healing, and expanding my consciousness, I dove head first.

I had undertaken a journey of self development and used my intuition to guide me in every direction I pursued. There was no intellectual thought behind my decisions. They were all based on spirit. And as I let spirit lead me, I also was lead into a world based solely on spirit.

I have a huge list on my AsttarteDeva.com website with words of credentials most of you probably have never heard of, and some I am honored that you do. These are different modalities into the realms of spirit. I am grateful to have access to this higher power, and as my journey began I was so enriched by the connection to spirit I developed that I had decided to take on a commitment to this level of my development by claiming myself and initiating myself as an Interfaith Minister.

Many of you who know me as a Sacred Sexual Healer, or who have seen my tantra websites may not understand this, nor understand the connection between the two. However, the connection is great. There is no distinction as a Dakini and Sacred Sexual Healer in the Tantric Arts. Healing is Healing and it can encompass any level of healing that is needed in any particular moment.

As an Interfaith Minister, I am able to perform hands on healing, call in the spirit realm and request healing from the angels around us, and offer prayer treatment as guidance moves through me. At one time I thought I had wanted to be a traditional minister and offer services such as weddings, funerals and baptisms, however, this is not my calling at this time. I do love the training the ministry offered me back in 2001 and the acknowledgment into the connection with all the interfaith minister friends I have through Commonground, Center of Peace and other Spiritual non-religious communities I am a part of.

To make a statement that I am actually ordained is quite a big deal for me. This is my affirmation to the universe that those who come to me and those who cross my path see me as a being of light, a being of love and take me and my work seriously. As I offer you healing upon your request, be it Yoga, Meditation, Psychotherapy, Energy Healing or Tantra Services, know that I am coming with high intentions for your growth, your healing and transformation and will do everything I can to leave you walking out feeling fulfilled on every level emotionally, spiritually,and physically.

May you all be transformed and may you all be filled with love!

Asttarte Deva