Hey guys, Are you tired of being bossed around and controlled by your wife (or girlfriend)? Do you have to live a secret life in order to maintain some sense of control and sanity? Do you feel scared she’s going to catch you in the act, for making secret phone calls to someone you like or have an interest in? Do you have to maintain a level of privacy and secrecy in order to keep your head on straight and make sure you’re head will not be CHOPPED off when you walk home or come back into her arms? What would happen if you did get caught? Would she go to the drastic measures of divorce or a break up, just because you wanted to live a normal healthy life, and express yourself with someone who wants to listen?
This is the trap many relationships live in today. One feels unheard, misunderstood; the other wants to maintain control, power and dominance and the two have to keep secrets, lies and shut out the truth from the other. Jealousy is born, possessiveness and control and a war for authority and dominance. What usually happens to relationships that are living in this reality, this lie, and have to pretend they are something they are not? Often, over time, they separate, they divorce or break up, and many times shutting out the other completely from their lives with little room for resolution or healing.
Probably if the truth came out today, the worse that could happen would be separation; the best, a best friend again, someone you could feel close to, safe with, and a deeper love than before.on or healing. What would happen if the truth came out? Or, even better, if the couple were honest with their needs, wants and desires before any problems arose?
When a woman shows up with her fierce rage about her man “jeopardizing” their relationship for his own self worth and personal fulfillment, a man shuts down. He pulls back and creates more separation. The woman feels she has a sense of control, and is keeping her man on her leash so he will not run away from her, and “they maintain their commitment”. However, do they really maintain their commitment, or is it under false pretenses? lies, secrets and dominance. Men DO NOT want to be dominated, just as much as women don’t. However, when a woman tries dominating her man, she is only pushing him away further and getting less and less over time the thing she actually wants; her man. When women can let go of their jealously and control, and men can speak their truth, the world will be a happier place. All the secrets create a sort of conspiracy and controlled, repressed, and conservative relationship. The relationship is not free, it doesn’t feel open, it doesn’t feel good, and it gets harder and harder to stay! In order for a relationship to thrive, be your true self to your Beloved, and then you get to be your true self to you! It doesn’t get any better!