Sex and Being Upset

Sex and Being UpsetWhen you are carrying upset in your heart, be it sadness, making someone wrong, holding resentment, judgment or anger, sexual energy may be missing and at most, going into the act of sex will be for the wrong reasons.

The idea of sex is a very personal matter, and when there is any upset at the person you hold the most dear to your heart, it makes sense that the sexual drive may be lacking or absent all together.  Is it more important to you to have sex, or is it more important to you to be connected to the person you love? What I mean is, do you find yourself driven by the desire of sex more than the drive to have love in your heart with the person dearest to you?

Perhaps the person dearest to you, you have given up on, or perhaps you have been resigned about something you are upset about and have decided not to deal with it, talk about it or confront it with the person. When I say “Being Upset”, I mean simply being upset. Not everyone is willing to admit that they are just simply upset with the person they love. They might find it more appealing to focus instead on sex, or focus instead on another person, or another activity. But when it comes down to it and after much time has passed, the reality is you may be upset with someone. Maybe you left the relationship all-together and are even trying to date someone new, but don’t even know why you are 1. either not attracting anyone new in your life, or 2. are not feeling fulfilled by the new person, or 3. have no sexual drive with the new person at all. Consider that you just may be upset with the person you were previously with, and on many levels still love them very much!

If you are still open to the person you deeply love, cheers to you for realizing your love, and being committed to waiting until the time is right to work out your differences.  Not everyone is willing to wait to work things out. Many people often give deadlines and say, “I will give you 6 months,” or “I will give you 1 year to x,” or “If this doesn’t work out by the end of this year or next year xxx….” and what you have is an ultimatum, and ultimately a heart that is blocked and shut down, and incompletion with a solution with the exact person you love the most!

When your heart is shut down from the person you love the most, do you still have sex with them? What is your sex like? Does it satisfy and fulfill you? Or do you feel something is missing and an emptiness?

No one is perfect, and upset happens. You are a human being. We all have upsets. They come and go and then you work it out.  But when you don’t work it out, what do you do? How do you deal with your upsets with the person you love the most? Do you avoid them, walk away and try to resolve it on your own? Do you talk to your friends for advice? Do you shut out the world and pretend it didn’t happen?

And when there is something missing with the person you love the most, do you know that you are actually just holding onto something, and upset with them?

Sometimes the act of forgiveness, love, and letting go of something that happened or how you are feeling about someone close to you is harder than many people know. Deciding to forgive someone, and telling yourself you forgive them, is not nearly the same as truly dealing with your feelings, unraveling them as far as they need to go, and then knowing 100% for sure you have forgiven them is a completely different thing! Admitting to yourself that you are upset, your feelings are hurt and telling the real truth to the person you love, is the first step in truly forgiving them, and when you can do that, you just might start to unravel your feelings and open up your heart again! And if your heart is open, doesn’t it only make sense that your sexual drive returns, your passion and your state of peace and satisfaction? 🙂

It is a true gift! And, sometimes we need an outside person to kick us in the head and open our eyes! And then, all the rewards show up!

Namaste,

Asttarte

Your Partners Needs vs Yours

Your Partners Needs vs Yours

Your Partners Needs vs YoursWhen we make our partners needs, and in particular their sexual needs, more important than our own, we lose ourselves in the pursuit in making them happy. We may think we are helping them and doing them a favor, however, they were not originally attracted to us because we gave up our power, passion, and drive for them. In essence, we lose our control, our life force and our value for living when we give in always to someone else’s needs.

When we let go of control, and surrender to someone else’s it does something to our spirit, our heart, our relationship with the other person, but also the relationship to ourselves and all the other relationships in our lives. We get lost in the mess of the relationship and become something; someone else. It’s like the expression “trying to fit a square peg into a round hole” and it never works!

It is important to honor someone else’s feelings, beliefs, opinions and needs, however, not at the expense of your own, and in particular not at the expense of one’s own life. Sometimes we can forget who we are, and forget ourselves during that drive to make someone else happy. However, if the other person, your partner, does not honor, value and hold your own feelings, needs, beliefs and opinions up high and shuns them, ignores them and just quietly smiles that he (or she) is getting everything they need and want and avoiding you, the relationship is not worth staying in.  In psychological terms, one might call that a Narcissistic Abusive Relationship, but on more common terms, the relationship is just not healthy, and definitely not balanced.

There MUST be balance for a relationship to work. There must be a healthy give and take, and if someone is getting something at the expense of the other person and incapable of seeing how they are hurting the other person, only doing their best to manipulate, coerce and control them, it is definitely a toxic relationship.

Sometimes people have to throw themselves into the fire over and over again until they finally learn their lesson, and finally learn that what they are doing to themselves might be harming them. I threw myself into the fire, and did it again and again, until I truly got the lesson. “My life is NOT about someone else; it is about myself, and no one can save you but yourself! My life is about living NOW; not next year; not next month and NOT in ten years. It is about today; for today is all we have!” And when we give up our passion to make someone else happy, and in particular to make sure they do not become unhappy or angry, it is definitely considered abusive! I am on clear alert that after all the power surged through me to stand up for myself, I am moving to the place of standing up for others as well. I claim the position to be a stand for all women and children to be protected and loved, and that men truly get the help they need when they need it, and for all to open their hearts to surrender to their truth and look inside for the answers!

Make your life your own, and on occasion hold someone else’s hand, (but not at the expense of yours)!

For YOUR Pleasure

For Your Pleasure

Asttarte & True Tantra Presents “For Your Pleasure”:

Exciting Tantra; Healing Services of the Month

Crystal Healing

Upon walking in to my Healing space, you will undress and stand before me. You will be smudged with a Native American Smudge stick, or broken pieces of sage, and cleansed of your stress, and whatever energy you may have been experiencing prior to this moment. I will chant musical tones and Sanskrit mantras over your body. My breath and voice will nourish your soul and cleanse your spirit.  After the front of your body is cleared I will ask you to turn facing your backside towards me. I will continue the ritual on the other side of your body, and upon completion have you sit on my purple pleasure couch. You will still be naked, and I will scan your body with my inner wisdom, and offer a few crystals for you to hold. I will prepare you to move into tantric bliss with a tantra meditation that starts very subtle, and moves to very intense. When you are ready, I will have you lay down, and continue the state you are in, with the crystals and your breath, and my touch.

Cuddle Sessions

My Cuddle Sessions are often the practice done prior to any Intimacy Therapy Healing or nurturing session. They can also be a catalyst for your deeper healing, healing your heart, cleansing your chakras, or arouse your sexual appetite, and begin sacred sexual energy healing.

You may choose a Cuddle Session, and only desire to work on healing your heart, and we can then do a reiki hands on or massage session when you are ready and have received enough energy from me.

You may also choose to do a Cuddle Session, and desire to move into other Tantric practices for sensuality, sexuality or healing whatever issues you are dealing with in your life (such as relationship issues, emotional issues, sex, self love, etc).

You may choose to receive a Hugging practice with me, do eye gazing, and do nothing else. This alone can heal the entire body; for the eyes remove the energy between two people, and open up an energy vacuum to cleanse the spirit. I’ve done this practice for over an hour in the past, and my entire body turned orgasmic. It can be quite powerful!

Cuddle Sessions can just be a Hugging Session that I do in my Hugging Power Classes, and move slowly, deeply into an embraced hug while in a sitting position. And I can then hold you in my arms, as you need to be nurtured, or you may feel the desire to hold a woman and we may stay connected this way for some time.

We can move into any other practice after the hugging or cuddle segment that will be supportive to you in this moment!

Reiki Training Sessions

Have you ever been reiki trained? Have you ever wondered what it was? Have you received a subtle reiki energy session from anyone in the past? This power, I believe, is the power of the energy source of the universe. All energy can be cleared, removed, and harnessed with the practice of reiki and energy healing, and life moves into a powerful spiritual awakening no matter what you choose to do in any moment. I have been a Usui Reiki Master since the year 2000, and have since added many other forms of reiki on top of this. I am happy to play in the art of energy with you, and help you heal, and teach you along the way! All energy healing can move one into full pleasure, as it removes everything else that is in the way!

More Sessions Available:

Meditation & Life Coaching

Gentle Taoist Shiatsu Massage

Tantra Yoga Training Sessions and Certification

Skype or Phone Coaching & Spiritual Training Sessions,

Conference Call Coaching Sessions – 10 week Program – for Goddess Healing (paid by paypal or check – other options available)

My sites have been changed, and more corrections will be made soon.  All blogs other than those listed on the Asttarte site will be removed, or contents taken and put into my books. My goal has been to be an author since a young child, for poetry, fiction and non-fiction. Now it is moving into self help, coaching and tantra for adults, and spiritual healing for the younger audience. I’m excited to launch this new year into the start of my dreams coming true. The first book has about 90 pages so far, so I have a ways to go. Anyone who wishes to help inspire me I am very open to your questions! Many Blessings~

 

Asttarte

347-618-1276 or 631-913-8572

To Be Loved By A Man

To Be Loved By A Man

To Be Loved by a ManI know what it feels like to be loved by a man; a man whose heart is open wide to the spirit you are; a man who loves you, or in the moment feels as though he is deeply in love with you.

To be held in his arms; to feel his breath upon your chest, as he holds you in embrace, and caresses your heart into deep utter relaxation.

To be teased into bliss by the simplicity of his eyes melting into yours.

You never forget what it feels like to be held by a man; a man, not a boy, or a child, and not your father or your son. A man, who is so deeply in love with YOU!

His rich smell as his pheromones reach out to yours and tantalize your adrenaline into heaven.

A spark of simplicity, a whimper in your heart of relief, of satisfaction, of knowing you are woman, as you are received in his love, and accepted for being the Goddess you are!

What a gift you are receiving, in being loved by his depth, in knowing you ARE Goddess, and are powerful in your femininity; a divine being worthy of being loved.

What a gift he is receiving, in giving him the experience of loving you, in knowing he is capable of loving and valuable in being received.

 

 

To be loved by a man offers so many gifts; for the receiver and the giver. To be a woman, being loved by a man helps you to know you ARE alive, and you are worthy, are capable and acceptable in being a Woman; a wise woman, an innocent woman, a powerful woman, a vulnerable woman; that you are allowed to be YOU, and you are allowed to be Goddess. You have permission and you need not shut down your prowess, your sensuality or your love!

 

 

 

Some thoughts to consider:

 

 

1). What does it mean to be loved by a man to you?

 

 

2). As a man, what does it offer you to love a woman? And, what does it mean to you to love a woman, who truly receives your love?

 

 

3). As a woman, what gifts do you receive when you open your heart to receiving the love from your beloved man that is right there in front of you?

 

4). As a woman, how often do you allow yourself to be loved by your husband/boyfriend?

 

 

5). Are there times when you shut him out and choose not to be embraced by him?If Yes, what causes you to close down to the one you love the most? (What thoughts are going through your mind? Are you resigned, cynical, blaming, judgmental, or resentful? Do you feel unloved? Do you feel unaccepted? Do you feel threatened and not supported? Do you lack trust? Do you feel guilty or wrong? Do you feel betrayed? Are you angry? Do you want to forgive? Are you stressed and feel powerless? Are you afraid and want to feel safe?)

 

 

6). Are you a woman, married or partnered to a man, going through your own emotional crisis and don’t feel understood or accepted for who you are? Do you wish to be understood? If you felt safe and accepted, how would you go about explaining to your man what you are dealing with so he could be a team player to help you get through your current struggles?

 

 

7). Do you feel as though, you are accepted, but still can’t talk to him about your inner world? Are you afraid of being judged or that he will stop loving you? What’s the worst thing that could happen if you told him what you felt?

 

 

8). Are you a woman (or a man) who doesn’t like talking about feelings and wishes the problems or issues would just go away? Would you rather wish them away then deal with them? What are you afraid of that makes you want to run when it comes to feelings?

 

 

9). If you had it your way, how would you want your current relationship to look like, feel like and smell like? (What would your surroundings and environment be, how would your partner behave towards you, how would they treat you, how would you treat them, where would you live, and what would you have in your home, how would you get along with in-laws and friends in social outings?, etc.)

 

 

10). Are you the typical leader in your relationship and the first to bend to work out an argument, or are you the one who holds grudges and waits to see if, maybe, things will work out on their own? If you did become the leader, what would you do or say to your partner to help them open their heart to you again?

 

Bonus Question:

 

11). If you are not receiving the type of love that you really want, ask yourself, what is it that you want, and what in your relationship is missing, if you had it your way, you would want to be there?

 

If you’re a man reading this post, you are welcome to copy and paste this and print it out to give to your beloved woman. (You are also welcome to turn the questions around to address yourself as a man). If you are a woman, consider reading this and answering the questions for yourself. you may discover some things about yourself, your relationship, hidden desires, and you may get to experience what it is that is really important to YOU!

 

Coaching Tip from Asttarte – Detoxing Your Life (Old Post)

Coaching Tip from Asttarte – Detoxing Your Life (Old Post)

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Now that we are moving into the depth of fall, lifestyles are changing. We are moving into wearing more clothes, having more time outside, and sometimes our visions of our-selves change in the process. As I contemplate this season, I feel the passion for cleansing; cleansing my body, my spirit and my home. I’m changing eating habits to cleanse the extra weight from eating foods that put on pounds and within days I’m noticing the water weight quickly leaving me. I’ve replaced sugar for stevia, coffee with flavored creams to plain organic teas, salads with heavy dressing to olive oil, and energy drinks to green tea, essential oils and flower essences. In my home I’ve donated my son’s outgrown toys and clothes, cleaned the bathtub and toilet, and purchased excellent All Natural Coconut Oil and Olive Oil for new Sessions.

Tips to Detoxify Your Life

Instead of holding grudges on people, you could:
Consider their viewpoints; contemplate another way of looking at the situation
Hold compassion for others in your mind
Be more giving.

Instead of eating the same foods the same way, you could:
Consider some foods that put weight on you (make a list of the foods that make you feel bloated, lethargic, depleted or sick)
Trust your own body and listen to your body rhythms
Consider substituting out foods for better choices
Drink more water, and less soda, coffee or juices
Replace caffeine for herbs, vitamins or vegetables

Instead of harboring anger against your children, you could:
Be more patient and understanding
Look at the situation from their point of view
Take a moment to breathe before responding
Consider new ways to interact
Offer a new solution
Consider a family adventure

Instead of blaming your partner for your relationship problems, you could:
Start looking at why you are creating the situation in the first place
Ponder what it is that you are thinking that causes their reaction
Deal with your own stress responsibly
Communicate from a place of compassion and take time away if you are upset before speaking
Look at what it is you are doing, AND not doing, and go back to your relationship agreements (if there has been no agreements made, make them)
Communicate your needs and listen to the needs of your partner
Compromise

Instead of blaming everyone else in your life for your problems, you could:
Eliminate or maintain minimal contact with certain people in your life that are toxic
Talk to a Therapist, Counselor, Healer or Coach to sort things out
Start a Journal
Go for a Daily Walk
Go to Yoga or Exercise
Get a Massage, Acupuncture, Chiropractic care, or a Spiritual/Holistic Healing Session
Meditate
Start or recommit to your own personal growth
Find friends on the same page as you (similar goals, beliefs, passions, etc).
Try Ayurveda, Aromatherapy or Flower Essences
Recommit to a Spiritual Practice
Look at yourself!

What do you do to detoxify your life?
If you’re unhappy, do you keep doing the same things, or do you consider a new approach?If your friends are making you miserable, do you keep them in your life or find new friends?
What are beliefs that are making you miserable?
Do you maintain a physically healthy diet, and if you feel lethargic or bloated, what do you do to detox?
Do you keep your home clutter free, and if there are things you want to get rid of, what will you do to remove them?
If you’re unhappy in your relationship, what will you do to make a difference?
What are new approaches you will take with your children to bring you closer?
What practices will you do over the next few weeks to relax your mind and nourish your spirits?
The next time you feel an argument coming on, will you walk away or pursue the conversation in that moment?
If your family or neighbors irk you, what will you do to harbor compassion?
What is one thing you will do over the next week to take care of YOU?

During the times of Seasons Changing, it is important to take a broad perspective and look at your whole life at large. During times of seasons changing, often also what show’s up are changes in our viewpoints, our desires, our passions and our focus. Contemplate what the summer will bring you or what it could do to cause you suffering, and change your approach so the next couple months for you are rewarding, satisfying and enjoyable!

“Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got.” Jim Rohn

Favorite Sessions Right Now!

Favorite Sessions Right Now!

Favorite Sessions Right NowAsttarte’s site is being revamped into a professional Holistic Healing Center. There are some videos that need to be done and some pages, but it is up for your viewing!

Asttarte’s Favorite Sessions Right Now are:

 Holistic Emotional Energy Therapy Sessions; a form of deep emotional healing and clearing I created on my own that is very powerful and effective.

 Transformational Life Coaching Sessions; to get complete and clear with what’s blocking you from having ANYTHING you need or desire!!!

Energy Clearing of the aura, energy field, vibrational healing for the stress, toxins and chaotic energy around the body which effects the emotional, mental and physical.

Cord Cutting for energetically clearing someone who is seriously impacting your life to be severed from your mind, and spirit at a more minimal level, or clearing the karmic relationship ties to this person from the past, so you can live free and be who you are today!

Phone Sessions of Life or Relationship Coaching, Long Distance Healing, Meditation, Spiritual Guidance and Spiritual Training.

Reiki Massage; a gentle, soothing and nurturing massage to release emotional debris, energetic debris and arouse your senses to a place of stillness, peace and love for the self again!

“One does not need to know what type of Session they want, or even what they need to heal. All they need to know is that they want to.”  Asttarte Deva

See more on energy clearing and spiritual healing at IntuitiveSoulHealings.com

Welcome to Asttarte’s Yoga ~ True Tantra!

Welcome to Asttarte’s Yoga ~ True Tantra!

ganesh-mantraHere you will find the eclectic immersion of multiple modalities, and the options that make it fit right for you! Everyone wants something different, but even more every single person needs something very different and unique to their specific situation, circumstances, beliefs, conditioning, goals, energy patterns, emotions, and available energy to what they are open to and what they are ready for.

Welcome to my new blog, and welcome to my new vision of a balanced practice and creating a balanced human being; for every one!

Namaste~

Protecting Your Sexy

Protecting Your Sexy


You know the sayings, “Sexy is as sexy does~” and “You are who you hang around!

Well, what do you do when all of the people you hang around or the person you sleep with (or are in a relationship with for that matter) is not letting you be your sexy and is holding you down?

How long do you let the people in your life hold you back? Do you keep hanging out with the same friends, or support them to help them open up to their potential? Do you stay in a relationship with a partner who has no sex drive and try to burst their bubble and open them up to you, or do you walk?

These are questions many contemplate. The people in your life are people you care about. You want to be happy with them. You want to grow with them. You don’t want to hurt them by walking away, or yourself from having to grieve them and start the whole dating process all over again. But, do you ever question, is STAYING worth it? And, am I really being my full authentic self with this person? Will he/she EVER truly get me? How long am I willing to sacrifice my passion, my identity, my purpose?

As a VERY sexy and passionate person myself, I have asked these questions MANY times, and in the past unsuccessfully left a relationship only to be sucked back into it again. I realize the power that was lost in the process; the giving away of my own power, my own identity, and as I stand here and reclaim my true self again, it is so liberating and freeing to detach from someone who sucks the life out of you; literally!!!

But what do you do, if they try to convince you “OH, I know you love me!!!” or “Oh, hunny, we’re meant to be together!” or “Baby, I need you!” “I’m nothing without you.” or worse, if they demand you stay with them, “You HAVE to be with me.” or perhaps if they do it secretly and unknowingly by manipulating your thoughts or beliefs and try to control you. How long will you let this continue going on? At some point, the manipulation HAS to stop, and the truth WILL set you free! YOU know you HAVE to walk, and no ounce of convincing will change your mind. You are ready, you are clear, and you set yourself free! This is a battle, I like to call, Protecting Your Sexy, because as time goes by, your sexiness elopes you when you stay, and when you detach, your sexiness flies!!! Only then do you see the truth, the cycle and can finally take a stand for yourself, protect your self, and walk away!

Some relationships just don’t work, and some people in our lives are meant to be with us for a certain period of time, and when they keep holding you back from your true self, you know, the time has come!

I am here now, Protecting my own sexy! Do you care to join me in the quest?

I’ve learned some great new tools the past few weeks in Tantra, and I am available, here and would love to see you!

Here’s to your sexiness, your passion, and your life!!! Cheers!!!

www.SexBlissLifeCoach.blogspot.com Asttarte Deva

Clarifying Juicy from Gentle

Clarifying Juicy from Gentle

Clarifying Juicy from Gentle

(Old Post to be edited)

There are some of you who have been followers of my writing and work for some time, and others who are just meeting me for the first time.

I made a decision recently to separate my work as a Spiritual Healer, Yoga Teacher, Shiatsu Massage Therapist & Emotional Release techniques to a new site that is completely separate from this one. My BeingInBliss site was intended to be a Spiritual site, however, most who found me there, still wanted advanced tantra teachings and healings. Perhaps it is not possible to separate the two worlds, however, in this new awareness, I am attempting.

Everything that was on the BeinginBliss site still exists, however, I imported BeinginBliss to AsttarteDevaYoga.com  since it was very rare that true spiritual seekers found me there. Those who find me and ARE interested in Spiritual Healing, now can feel safe and trust that that is what I will offer, will know they all end up back to the same place.

Like someone said a couple weeks ago, it is not easy to tell someone who is an Interfaith Minister the same things you would say to a Goddess Tantra Healer. And, I agreed. The worlds are quite opposite, however, in Tantra, nothing gets left out and the more skills you have, the more there is to offer. And, thus, I will be adding some of these gifts to the Tantra site, but keeping it focused to one page, with parts on other pages, rather than 10 pages of deep details as I had before.

Namaste,

Asttarte Deva