Arousal as Energy Movement

Arousal as Energy Movement

Arousal as Energy MovementArousal as Energy Movement

What happens after a relationship ends, or you have taken an enormous amount of time to be alone? (The relationship might as well be over if that’s the case). And definitely the case if your partner had a fear of intimacy (See recent posts from other blog MyLoverMyBestFriend.wordpress.com for more writing on fear of intimacy).

What happens to your body after you’ve gone through the grieving and letting go process, and you’re ready to start dating again, or having an interest in connecting with others after all that time?

What usually happens, is your body will start telling you that you are ready. It will have desires with certain people you are attracted to, or give you sudden urges and nudges to push you to talk to someone. But what happens when you’re by yourself, and you are starting to finally open up again after all that time alone? Your body may have waves of energy movement, or jolts of sudden arousal. It may feel orgasmic, but then when you go to pleasure yourself, you may still feel certain blocks to experience a full body experience of arousal, i.e.. orgasm.

The arousal is your bodies way of telling you that you have gotten through most of the grieving process of your ex lover (husband, wife, etc) and it has achieved a level of balance, equilibrium and harmony of energy and wants to move to a higher place of joy. You completed the cycle of sadness, solitude and aloneness after the hard core break up. You took the time you needed to rest, recover, release anxiety, stress and sadness from your previous beloved, and now your body has awaken, and it wants to wake you up to match how it feels.

It can happen anywhere; your kitchen while you are cooking a meal, your car while singing to a song you love, cleaning your home, reading, talking to a friend, or even meditating or taking a bath. When your body is ready to open to a higher level of pleasure, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or who you are with. It will move and rise within you no matter what!

If you talking to a friend in person or over the phone and you definitely don’t want that friendship to turn into something different, be careful! You may want to hang up the phone or leave the current situation to allow your body to experience how it’s feeling. Otherwise, that friendship might just turn romantic pretty quickly!

If you want the friendship to turn into something else, and your friend had been waiting for you to be ready and open, awesome! Or, you are neutral and don’t care if this person will remain your friend or turn into something else, that may be time to have a discussion. However, if you have the discussion on the spot, changes will happen almost dramatically! A more rational stand would be to walk away, take care of yourself, and then talk to your friend later after the feeling of sexual arousal and frustration has calmed down.

I’ve discovered a practice called the Deer Exercise for women and men in my recent search on this topic. This is a taoist energy practice to help move and awaken someone who has been suppressed or shut down for a long time. If you are no longer suppressed and feel the energy already excited, this practice may actually just balance you and help release some of the pent up sexual frustration, and perhaps help you relieve the sexual frustration a little easier. However, I find the Shamanic Breathwork and Tantra Meditations to be more powerful. Whatever you choose is your choice, and your body will let you know what is best!

Feel free to give the Deer Exercise a try. Who knows it might help! If anything it will help keep your energies open and your body in overall health and vitality! Enjoy!

For women:

For men and women:

The Art of Touch: 50 Shades of Tantra

The Art of Touch: 50 Shades of Tantra

black taraThis is Goddess Jeanett’s point of view, and although it is similar to mind, there are some differences.  When no one has had any background in White Tantra, or Spiritual Discipline practices, we start there before we move to any other types of tantra. Many people have little background and need a lot of healing, so wherever there is the need, there we will go. And the seeker/student is not the one who has awareness of what he needs. The practitioner often will know what he/she needs and one must surrender to that knowledge, or the foundation never will build at all. Seek and ye shall find~

 

The Art of Touch: 50 Shades of Tantra: Written by:  Goddess Jeanette’s point of view!

 

Hoping to get your pulse racing, your kundalini rising, and your chakras spinning like tops? Not all Tantra is the same. Let’s start by exploring 5 paths of Tantra to get your aura started.  

 

 

I imagine that 50 shades is actually a modest estimation. This is increasingly true in this modern age, especially now that Tantra is becoming so popular here in the West. Tantra has been around for thousands of years and continues to evolve as Eastern philosophy meets Western psychology.  Allow me to guide you toward the shade of Tantra that suits you. I will describe 5 paths of Tantra.  Each path is represented by a color. Within these five tantric paths, there are easily 10 variations or shades of interpretation available, which would give you the proverbial 50 shades of Tantra.   

 

White Tantra is used to describe a spiritual path of Tantra which incorporates meditation, breath work, sounds and postures.  Although all of the major chakras or energy centers are recognized in this practice, it is the upper two chakras; the third eye and the crown chakra, which seem to get all the conscious attention.  These are the energy centers that connect with our intuition and spirituality.  In this culture we tend to equate Tantra with great sex. However, the white path doesn’t really focus on the physical act of sex at all! White Tantra is primarily a solo practice between you and spirit.  Although this is a solo practice, White Tantra does acknowledge relationships as having merit. The various people who come into our lives are said to provide us with a mirror to help us learn and grow.   

 

Personally, I define Tantra as more of a philosophy than a religion. However, I recognize that there are some people who practice Tantra religiously. Some forms of Tantra have become so intertwined with the beliefs of a specific religion such as; Hinduism, Taoism, or Buddhism that it is difficult to sort out where the religion ends and the Tantra begins. Within the practice of White Tantra, sexual energy is often re-directed or channeled towards spiritual transformation, creative endeavors, healing, expanded awareness, and what some might refer to as enlightenment.  Sexual activity is not strictly “forbidden” by most of the White Tantra practices; however, quite often followers of White Tantra are influenced by religious teaching that value chastity, sexual abstinence or celibacy.

 

If you are an individual who is seeking a journey of spiritual enlightenment or a deeper connection with God or spirit, then perhaps white Tantra is for you. Kundalini yoga is a popular practice in this culture that is often categorized as White Tantra.  However, if your reason for exploring tantra is primarily in hopes of learning new ways to improve your sex life, you may be disappointed.   

 

Red Tantra is a path of Tantra best known for bringing us Tantric Sex. Red Tantra is primarily a practice that you do with your partner. The union between you and your beloved is seen as a form of god and goddess worship that creates not only a bond with your partner but a bridge or connection to the divine god and goddess. You and your partner embody the god and goddess, and when you come together to make love using Tantric Rituals, you join body, heart, mind and spirit. All of the chakras or energy centers of the body are involved in the connection. The intention is to create a piece of heaven on Earth that transcends the physical act of sex. By incorporating Tantric practice into your love life, you can reach not only higher levels of pleasure and connection, but a higher spiritual vibration as well.  

 

My understanding is that in India, Red Tantra was originally a highly advanced spiritual practice that was only taught to those who had achieved a level of mastery of the White Path of Tantra. Today there are secular forms of Red Tantra in the West that do not require followers to achieve any mastery. The focus of this more secular form of Tantra is primarily on exploring bliss, ecstasy, and all the pleasurable sensations you can achieve during love making. Tantric Sex is now something that couples may explore, with or without the original spiritual intent.  

 

Red Tantra is known for luxurious love making sessions that last for hours, ideally leading to multiple, full-body orgasms… with or without an ejaculation.  The more secular forms of Red Tantra focus on erotic and romantic love, activating mostly the lower chakras; the primal, sexual and sensual energies of the root and sacral chakras. However, without the spiritual component to the practice, the upper chakras do not receive as much attention. The sacred forms of Red Tantra lead to a sense of euphoric oneness not only with your partner, but with the universe and God. The more secular forms of Red Tantra encourage couples to spend lots of time making love and exploring heightened levels of pleasure. However, this secular practice lacks the experience of spiritual love, and the universal connection that is the point of the sacred practice of Red Tantra.  

 

Pink Tantra refers to a heart centered path of tantra that blends many of the elements of White Tantra (generally without the tendency to embrace a life of celibacy) with some aspects of Red Tantra (without the need for a full time Tantric Partner to practice with.) Within the path of Pink Tantra, all of the chakras are acknowledged. However, there seems to be an emphasis on the importance of the heart; opening the heart chakra and healing the heart. Compassion, acceptance and forgiveness for others and for our self are central themes to this practice. Pink Tantra teaches us to cultivate love without attachment, ownership or expectation. With Pink Tantra love is seen as the impetus for healing and transformation.  

 

Pink Tantra is a great path to follow if you are currently single, struggling with your current relationship, or for those who adopt a more open love style such as polyamory. Pink Tantra provides techniques and practices to help you heal from past heartaches, to improve your overall feeling of an emotionally balanced life and to connect with your true self.  Pink Tantra recognizes the importance of polarity between masculine and feminine energy. Practicing Pink Tantra will often result in you attracting a good potential mate who complements and resonates with your energy.  If you are already in a love relationship, this practice will ideally deepen and strengthen your partnership.  If your relationship was struggling, you may experience a rekindling of an emotional and passionate connection with your partner. However, this practice encourages personal wholeness. Sometimes this practice will enable someone to leave a partner who is abusive, or otherwise keeping them from being an authentic expression of their true self.    

 

Black Tantra is a path of tantra that incorporates magic and is clouded in mystery. Sometimes Black Tantra is referred to as Dark Tantra. Some have compared this path of Tantra to the black magic of voodoo. Black Tantrikas are often feared in India. I suspect that there is a lot of misconception of this path because it is not practiced openly. The teachings are intentionally well guarded to protect it from being misused by those with less than pure intentions.  Black Tantra has not been widely or openly practiced in the US. One aspect of Black Tantra that has made an impression on our Western consciousness is Sex Magic, which is a little like practicing “The Secret” with the powerful addition of using sexual energy to manifest your intentions.  Integrity and discretion are extremely important to the successful practice of Black Tantra. Generally speaking, it is extremely difficult to find anyone willing to teach you the most powerful techniques of Black Tantra without undergoing a vigorous screening and initiation process.  Here in the US, as well as many parts of Europe, we tend to be very skeptical of anything magical, mystical or anything that cannot be explained by our current understanding of science. If this magical Tantra is what you are seeking, it is possible to find it if you persevere, and are willing to follow the protocols of your teacher, but it tends to be a lot harder to find than the other types of Tantra, and unfortunately easily confused with an entirely different form of Tantra with a similar name that I will describe next.

 

Dark Tantra is sometimes mistakenly called Black Tantra by those who are not aware that the term Black Tantra has already been taken. This alternative meaning refers to a fusion of a Tantric Sex and BDSM.  I believe this path has emerged in very recent times.My understanding is that “Dark Tantra” was “invented” here in Western culture, I believe by people who really had a very limited or perhaps no understanding of the original meaning of Dark or Black Tantra. Basically Dark Tantra seems to be a secular sexual practice that doesn’t have much to do with the spiritual practices of Tantra. I have heard some argue that there is a spiritual aspect to this Dark Tantra. I can imagine that this could be true for some individuals who are on a path of exploring their “shadow” or seeking to sink deeper into trust and surrender, but based on conversations I have had with people who claim to be exploring Dark Tantra, I believe that it is more often practiced as a form of self expression and sexual exploration than for the purpose of spiritual enlightenment.  

 

My Tantric Path is an eclectic one.  However, when it comes to what I teach it appears to fit most closely into the category of Pink Tantra. I do use some aspects of White Tantra, such as meditation and breath-work. I also introduce the teachings of Red Tantra, particularly to the couples who come to see me. However, most of my clients are either single or married to partners who do not support or participate in their practice of Tantra. This limits my ability to teach Red Tantra as it was intended. I am familiar with the concepts of sex magic, and have taught some workshops about how to use sex magic to manifest our desires; however, I do not consider myself to be an authority on the subject of Black Tantra. 

 

My modalities of choice are love and light which resonates well with the heart centered practice of Pink Tantra. If you would like to speak with me about incorporating Tantra into your life, either via a verbal life coaching session or a hands on healing Tantra session.

 

Erectile Dysfunction – A Common Phenomenon

Erectile Dysfunction – A Common Phenomenon

After about a dozen phone calls of people seeking help with their personal erectile dysfunction issues, I thought it was time to do something about this, and write to you.

Many men go through a stage in their life that takes them off of their normal routine of a healthy sex life, and often it comes as a shock to them; not knowing how to turn things around, and sometimes go back to the way it was just the day before. And, after many months of feeling frustrated, mostly from their partner wanting them to be able to be fully erect and feel the full sensation they had before, they start looking for answers.

First off, I want to say, ladies, please have patience for your honey’s. Sometimes they don’t know the source of this and they really do need help. It is important that they know YOU love them, accept them, and can be fully supportive of what they are dealing with. #1 this is utmost of importance. It will help them feel nurtured, cared for, and in the end get to the other side of this condition.

Second, guys, it will take a lot of compassion on your part to let your women go through what they are going through given they were always used to things being a certain way, and now they need to adjust to the changes and learn within themselves how to accept your situation, and eventually support you to heal it. If this core foundation doesn’t happen, this is where a lot of relationships start going under and can, without warning, walk a path of termination. This is not what I would want for you, however, some people can only handle so much disappointment. The good news is, is that there are answers and this CAN, I am telling you, be cured. It will take DEEP soul searching on your part, a determination to heal your inner self and take charge of the problem. Going to the route of viagra or other drugs is NOT the solution. It will only lead to other health problems later, but I can’t make that decision for you. You have to.

So guys, soul searching IS the answer. It’s not the fastest solution, and it’s not an easy one, but it is the most powerful solution. And, with Tantra and other Spiritual Healing practices, you can find yourself getting closer to your old healthy body again, and sometimes, EVEN HEALTHIER!

Sometimes the issue stems from one or more of these things:
Your Health
Stress
Past Traumas

Often when you have a health concern, this can cause stress. Often when you have stress it can be created in many ways; work, your closest relationships, family and on many occasions Past Traumas that you never even knew were traumas, but your body took them in and integrated them into a part of you, and now it has caught up with you. The most noble thing you can do would be to allow yourself to be vulnerable, surrender to what your body is telling you, and go deep within. Not every modality out there will help you. Just like food; some people like chocolate, some like vanilla and some like strawberry. We all have different likes and dislikes and our bodies respond to different modalities in different ways. The best thing to do is experiment. However, now that you are here reading this, I would like to say that practicing tantra, spiritual healing, doing emotional release practices and strengthening your sexual muscles will help. However, with a little guidance, a little push and a little practice.

Some other modalities I recommend are (I offer most of these btw):
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
NET (Neuro Emotional Technique) (I have a great referral here)
Matrix (Matrix Work – Core Energetics)
Re-Alignments
IET (Integrated Energy Therapy)
Psychotherapy
Breathwork
Tantra
Caring for your health and eating proper foods
Yoga
Acupuncture (I know of a couple really great clinics around Phiadelphia that cost $20 to $35)
Getting Massages
and more!

Some reading material: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Spiritual-Healing-3882/2009/12/Erectile-dysfunction-1.htm
http://healing.about.com/od/ritalouise/a/erectiledysf.htm

If you would like a woman and someone different than here, let me know and I can give you another referral. Or, of course, you can see me! Good luck to you, and much much love on this journey!

Asttarte Deva

The Gentler Side of Tantra

Divine-Self-Love

Radiating everywhere
I surrender
to the violet plane
I surrender to this body
I surrender to this mind
I breathe and let life in
I breathe and let fate take me
I am wholeness in peace
No one can take me back but my own
my ego, my temptations, my resistance
I am always in control
I let go and allow
as I am continuously filled with love.

Tantra is not just about a sexual experience. In fact, most people in the US, and especially the East coast have the mis-belief that tantra is completely about sex. The truth is sex is only 10% a part of tantra and the other 90% is about practices, meditation, healing, kundalini awakenings, movement of the breath and the body (and I’m not talking about sexual movement here), being authentic and in your truth (speaking your heart, communicating what you really want to say, doing what you really want to do at your core), yoga practices, and more.

I am here as a guide and I have chosen to take on the path as a Healer, and I have also chosen to go so deep in being a Healer as taking on the role of a Tantra Healer; which has its risks and its benefits. However, a lot of my experience has been with men who desire to “release”, or have a sexual encounter. My job is in telling you that this is not what tantra is about. My soul is speaking to me and is now telling me that I need to teach all of you intensely interesting men and richly sexual men that you need to get on a spiritual path that combines the essence of tantra; combining deep breathing and energy movement practices to raise the energy up the spine which has the ultimate goal of opening your entire energy being; your auric field, your essence, your radiance and presence. This is not the sexual energy you feel when you have an orgasm. This is the blissful feeling you get when you are alone; taking a bath and fully relaxed with no pressures and you feel filled with light and love. This blissful feeling is not the orgasmic feeling you get when with your partner, but rather the feeling you have when you are truly at peace on every level.

The goal of tantra is to feel so clear inside your heart and spirit that you get to a place where things bother you less and you feel better about life and about your self. Once you’ve achieved this, or in conjunction with, then the next goal is to work through any blocks in your communication or blocks in the energy between you and your beloved, OR remove the “blocks”, that is taking away that empty space that is leaving you alone with no partner at all and drawing in the powers of your being to create and manifest the perfect partner for you.


My goal is to work with you as a team player, a coach, a Healer and a friend. I hope to help sooth your stresses, mend your questioning mind, calm your nerves, resolve conflicts with your relationship, and help you manifest a partner that is perfectly aligned for exactly who you are.

I am a new mother and there may be times when I cannot get back to you right away (and my regular clients know this), but I will always get back to you.

May you always be Blessed and Loved!

Asttarte Deva