Slow Sex is Best

Slow Sex is Best

Sex, sex, sex! Everyone loves to talk about sex! But sex to one person may mean something completely different to someone else. To one person it may mean going out to dinner, having a few glasses of wine, and coming home to jump in the bed with their hunny. To another, it may mean to stay in, put everything on hold, and do it right there on the spot, spontaneously wherever they feel like it. And to another, it may mean slow foreplay, lots of intimate massage, then taking as long as possible before removing their external articles, and moving as slowly as possible after.

Most people, and in particular, most guys, think the faster the better, but that can’t be further from the truth. Guys, and women too, feel a peak of desire, and want to rush to feel some form of satisfaction. They crave the feeling of pleasure, get impatient and even become aggressive with their own body. They almost in a sense, are taking out that sense of impatience and anger on them-self, for having waited to be intimate, and don’t realize that the slower they go, they more healing, nurturing and joy they experience within. And, too, the slowness creates an energy flow, the chi, and taoist energy movement, that allows even an emotional connection to their body, feelings and experience to take place. Sometimes, the slower, the more sensual and the more emotional. Often, there is no healing without slowness, no emotional connection, no vulnerability, no sadness, and also no electric orgasm either.

There are many vibrators out on the market, and many of them, have a speed that is much too fast to allow the person to have a true tantric emotional connection or healing experience. These ‘toys’ are targeted more for people who are unable to orgasm without them, and all too often, they over-stimulate a woman, creating a somewhat dependence on the toys, and it sets the woman up for being unable to have any pleasure or release with her own partner (or herself for that matter). She then needs the toy after being with her partner, and then her husband, or boyfriend, etc. feels left out, unloved, not included in her pleasure, and it sets him up to feel failure as a lover; which is probably completely off base. She just trained herself to received pleasure from some foreign object, and can’t experience pleasure without it. Guys, it’s not your fault!

However, there is hope! Women can retrain themselves to slow down, and men can feel the satisfaction of connecting with his sweetheart and beloved deeply once again! First, I’d like to say, is that it IS possible. You first have to put the toy away. Hide it in a trunk, or the attic for a while. Try something different. Try slowing down, breathing, working with your own energy, your own breath, a gentle touch, and let your emotions come to the surface. It will create a spiral and circulating effect of self love, love for your partner, and a connection much deeper than two people experiencing a superficial orgasm at two separate times and in two different ways can ever do.

If two people in a relationship, are both desiring to be sexual, get close, but one is angry, another is frustrated, depressed, or experiencing anything other than love, fast sex often seems like the quick solution to connect and attempt to make all those feelings go away. But, those feelings don’t go away, without acknowledging them, truly feeling them, being with them, and loving them into disappearance.

Slow sex, and slow intimacy is the only way to truly acknowledge your partner, love him or her, and create a connection that is worth experiencing. Why rush when you can have so much more? 

 

Yoga and Acupressure – mini updates September 2008

I’m planning to write articles for magazines. I’m in the preparation zone and preparing my mind, body and spirit for the big transition. I’m also painting and hope to create spiritual works of art to add to my writing, as well as singing; which I hope to one day replace the music I love of Donna De Lory and Deva Premal; with my own music as Asttarte Deva. I have a website in the works, that I am building at the present and hope to be done by Christmas. You would love the new site. It is a compilation of spirituality, energy healing, metaphysics, readings, poetry, bodywork, AND the big subject of Tantra. It is a long term goal in putting this together, and my hope is to eventually have it available for music, books, art, tantra dvds (that I create – reason why it’s a long term goal) and other products as well. The site is through a template that I may need to switch over in the future to something bigger and more professional, but it is a good start. http://asttartedeva.com

I’m working 3 or 4 days a week and have to take advantage of that small window where I can work, relax, or go out. We are our baby’s main babysitter right now; the father and I, and we have chosen this for many reasons; one is that we want to instill as much love in this little human being as we possibly can while it matters the most.

I’m taking a Yoga Teacher Training now. I literally signed up for it this past Thursday. I had been thinking about doing it all summer. I was inspired during a beautiful kirtan gathering at Main Line Yoga in Ardmore. Singing in kirtan is one of my favorite things to do, and being a part of the energy of love/God, creates awakenings in my spirit and soul, and in that moment, my guidance was communicating to me strongly that this course would be perfect for the next level of my development. The teacher training is called Yin Yoga, and it is an extremely powerful form of yoga for moving chi in the body; stuck chi, stagnant chi, and becoming more alive in the body by transforming the energy of emotions and physical blocks. The main focus for the course is moving the energy in the meridians such as in Taoism or Chinese Medicine. There are also a lot of key connections in the Yin Yoga Teacher Training related to Ayurveda as well as Tantra. It is a good balance for the Shiatsu Massage and Jin Shin Do Bodymind Acupressure training I have already done (as well as Yoga and Tantra) and reconnects me to that subtle, yet powerful form of healing through movement of the body, breath and energy of chi. Yin Yoga is not for beginners, however, beginners can use it to enhance their Yoga practice, or to help open the body through a subtle, calm, yet powerful practice. I look forward to the new calmness and spiritual connection to source this has already begun to create for me, and the new revelations it will offer for me in my work.

Blessings to all!
Namaste!

www.SexBlissLifeCoach.blogspot.com Asttarte Deva