Sexual Frustration and Anger

Sexual Frustration and Anger

 

Sexual Frustration and Anger; it saddens me when this shows up, but in fact sexual energy and the emotion of anger all too often come together and in many ways are merged as though they are one thing. Many times anger comes before the sexual frustration, and in particular when a relationship ends and ones needs aren’t being met, sexual frustration and pent up sexual energy holds in passion. When this passion does not have an opportunity to be held, loved and supported, it often then turns into anger.

The energy of anger is so strong, many people can pick up on it from miles away, from a short or far distance and over the phone. If someone is not feeling fulfilled in their sexuality, perhaps solely just taking care of their own needs but missing out on the connection of another, anger can be the prevalent emotion one experiences.  This one emotion can be the predominant energy in ones being and take over every single interaction one has. If one has the desire to control, dominate and manipulate situations to their favor, and lacks the ability for sympathy, empathy, kindness, compromise, compassion or patience, anger may be the emotion hiding and controlling you.

Also, anger shows up when their is unresolved issues in the past, and perhaps the person is not yet ready to face the past, look in the mirror of how they are really feeling, and instead wants to project all their feelings towards everyone around them. The anger can be easily sorted out, processed and dealt with, but if someone is not willing to admit how they are feeling, cannot be honest with themselves or you, any amount of talking to them or convincing is wasted energy. You cannot convince anyone who cannot even be honest with themselves, nor does talking help you as the person who cares about them. The best thing often to do, is walk away, and let them come back later with their own discoveries, their own answers and admit to you their feelings or experience.

Doing any sort of healing in the sexual healing world, can stir up A LOT of dark feelings, and go to a very dark place. And when someone who is seeking healing in the sexual realm is not willing to do their inner work, it can be a very unsafe place for practitioner and seeker to go. It can be a very vulnerable place for both, and working together at this level must be met with an agreement, an understanding and a true willingness for the seeker to be the student, to learn, surrender to the teachings and open their heart to heal anything and everything that presents itself that is ready to come to the surface and heal.

Our culture, of 2014, in the United States is filled with many people who have a lot of dense, dark energy, a lot of fear and anger, AND a lot of mixed messages of what tantra means and even to the extent that people are guarded when it comes to healing themselves or judge themselves thinking they do not need healing when what they are doing is going by a misconception of what society has labeled the terms “healing”, or “therapy” or “counseling”. And, in fact, there is confusion with the term “tantra” itself. The term tantra, in fact is NOT meant to be a sexual word. Turning its meaning into sexuality has been adopted by the porn industry, and in fact, this has confused the consumer and the audience to its true meaning of yoga, healing and enlightenment.

Tantra all on its own, is a VERY powerful word. Sexuality, all on its own, is a very powerful word. And, anger, all on its own, is a very powerful word! Separating each word to define what each truly means, and help those who want healing to know what healing is, how it may help them, and how they have the power to walk into their own heart, to find love, beauty and joy!

This is my mission and this is my path! I love all of you!

Asttarte

Tantra and Intimacy

Tantra and Intimacy

Tantra and IntimacyYou’re in bed with your hunny, and she’s laying on her side, facing the other direction. You’re horny as a firecracker and you can’t seem to get anything to make her turn over and make love to you. You wish you could get some satisfaction and pleasure her and feel fulfilled yourself.

You had an argument earlier that day. In fact, you have many arguments many days and they seem to go on and on. Now that you think about it, this has been going on for months, maybe even years. But you’re still that horny little fire cracker you were when you first met. Your Sexual drive is as high as its ever been, but the love between the two of you is missing. You wish you could just make love and have it all go away, but that never seems to work. And, now you’re laying in bed, its late at night and you have the perfect opportunity to make love, and she isn’t into it. (or you aren’t).

When it comes to Tantra, anything will turn you on, but when it comes to intimacy, someone’s heart is broken and you don’t know why or how to mend it.

Schedule a Session in Relationship Coaching, and together, we as a Team, can discover what is in the way of having the intimacy you desire and turn that relationship around!

Once we’ve tackled the Relationship, then we can go to work on Tantra Training or Healing Sessions and have the Ultimate Relationship of YOUR DREAMS!!!!

Thanksgiving, Reunions and Going Deeper – Email Update

Thanksgiving, Reunions and Going Deeper – Email Update

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Blessings old loves,

How is everyone doing? After the Thanksgiving Holiday is over, and preparing our feasts, spending hours long with our family members, we then dive into our Reunions, 5 yr, 10 yr, 15 yr, 20th yr, 25th yr, 30th and so on. I hope everyone enjoyed their time with their familiar faces and created new beautiful memories.

I am grateful for the ease and peace my family and I now share together, the comfort and desire in staying together; without the drama or arguments that showed up in the past, and the love (and laughter) we all share. And,it was even more exciting to spend time with old high school graduates, to share who I am today, my passion, my love, my openness and acceptance, vibrant and new assertive way of being. Perhaps many never saw me that way before, and many recognized my beauty as something greater than when I was a child. I am feeling truly honored and grateful for this experience, and hope to keep growing more amazing, more vibrant and more powerful as the years go by!

I am writing to share my gratitude, my love and my continued desire to be of service in a healing way, in whatever way that looks like for you! Everyone needs something different, and I am happy to be a vessel to receive what is most important for you!

Many Blessings, Happy Holidays and Lots of Love,

Asttarte

Where Does Sexy Come From?

Where Does Sexy Come From?

Where Does Sexy Come From

Where Does Sexy Come From?

Sexy comes from nothing other than inside of you; your inner self, and that same self that reflects, contemplates, feels and thinks sometimes too much. Your thoughts create your reality ~ a phrase often said, and it is still the case with our own sexiness.

When you feel sexy, it shows in how you act, how you interact with others, how you walk, talk and present yourself in the world. Sexy is a way of being, rather than a way of doing; it just is. It is who you are.

Bringing Sexy Back

One way I like to bring sexy back is feeling powerful and in charge of my life. When we are in charge of things that matter to us, it certainly gives a feeling of being powerful, and in being powerful, our whole passion for life has the opportunity to be lit up!

The Difference Between Being Sexy & Being Sexual

Being sexy is a state of being, a way of being. It is a flavor for life, but being sexual is the act in taking charge of your sexiness and going out in the world, or in the case of having your loved one right there, your bedroom!

When you harness your sexy from within you, you can create anything in your life around you!

What To Do When Your Heart is Broken

What To Do When Your Heart is Broken

What to Do When Your Heart is Broken

What To Do When Your Heart is Broken

Are you someone who is feeling alone; maybe lost and afraid, maybe hurt and betrayed? Are you recently divorced or separated? Was it your choice or your ex-partners? Are you angry or are you sad? Sometimes we have to make big decisions that impact us on very profound levels, and sometimes those decisions affect our personal well-being, our health, our relationships with other people, our careers, our families, our reaction to stress, our ability to have full sleep each and every night and our regular social decisions.

 

 

Have you ever been through a serious break up? A divorce? A death of a close loved one? What do you do when these events take place?

 

How does it impact your life? Your diet? Your rest?Your relationships? Your career? Your family life? Your stress level? What do you do to improve these areas of your life when your balance is thrown off?

 

Do you reach out for help? Or do you deal with things alone?

 

Do you seek Holistic Therapies or do you suffer silently inside?

 

What do YOU do to handle your emotions? What do you do when you can’t sleep through the night? What do you do after you have an emotional breakdown? Do you self-medicate, or do you seek a professional?

 

 

When your heart is broken, it is often one of the most painful experiences in one’s life. Often people are afraid to share their true feelings to those closest to them. Many suffer quietly without reaching out for help, and some even go the extra mile to pretend as though everything is fine. Many want to be seen as strong and think emotions are a sign of weakness. Our culture has taught us that when you cry you are weak, and when you don’t cry you are strong. However, when in reality, when you let yourself cry during times of suffering, it is actually a sign of power and vulnerability; that you are in touch with your feelings and are not threatened by them. When you can express how you really feel, like children, you can feel the feelings and then move on. And, if the feelings come again, then you acknowledge them again, express them, and move on again. Eventually you will feel free to your full self-expression, you will feel your joy again, and your true self will shine through.

 

Sometimes we cannot access our true feelings. We’ve been so trained to hold everything inside that we can’t be like little children and just let the feelings out when they are there. In these cases, it is best to seek Alternative or Holistic Therapies and use the tools available to you to help you purge what’s hidden deep inside. Don’t hold onto the past. You then won’t be able to live into the future, and your past will ALWAYS be there to pull you back from your present.

 

 

Some Affirmations for Depression and to allow yourself to feel:

 

  • I am being taken care of.
  • I let go of my expectations.
  • I love myself for what I am going through.
  • I open my heart to love and the joys of life.
  • I am thankful for all that I have.

 

 

 

If your heart is broken, are you holding back from letting yourself feel all of your heart, or are you ready to let your heart be free?

 

 

In oneself lies the whole world, and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. – J. Krishnamurti

 

Recommended Reading:

Coming Apart; Why Relationships End & How to Live through the Ending of Yours

by: Daphne Rose Kingma

 

Acupressure for Emotional Healing; A Self-Care Guide for Trauma, Stress and Common Emotional Imbalances

by: Michael Reed Gach, PhD and Beth Ann Henning, Dipl., ABT

Coaching Tip from Asttarte – Detoxing Your Life (Old Post)

Coaching Tip from Asttarte – Detoxing Your Life (Old Post)

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Now that we are moving into the depth of fall, lifestyles are changing. We are moving into wearing more clothes, having more time outside, and sometimes our visions of our-selves change in the process. As I contemplate this season, I feel the passion for cleansing; cleansing my body, my spirit and my home. I’m changing eating habits to cleanse the extra weight from eating foods that put on pounds and within days I’m noticing the water weight quickly leaving me. I’ve replaced sugar for stevia, coffee with flavored creams to plain organic teas, salads with heavy dressing to olive oil, and energy drinks to green tea, essential oils and flower essences. In my home I’ve donated my son’s outgrown toys and clothes, cleaned the bathtub and toilet, and purchased excellent All Natural Coconut Oil and Olive Oil for new Sessions.

Tips to Detoxify Your Life

Instead of holding grudges on people, you could:
Consider their viewpoints; contemplate another way of looking at the situation
Hold compassion for others in your mind
Be more giving.

Instead of eating the same foods the same way, you could:
Consider some foods that put weight on you (make a list of the foods that make you feel bloated, lethargic, depleted or sick)
Trust your own body and listen to your body rhythms
Consider substituting out foods for better choices
Drink more water, and less soda, coffee or juices
Replace caffeine for herbs, vitamins or vegetables

Instead of harboring anger against your children, you could:
Be more patient and understanding
Look at the situation from their point of view
Take a moment to breathe before responding
Consider new ways to interact
Offer a new solution
Consider a family adventure

Instead of blaming your partner for your relationship problems, you could:
Start looking at why you are creating the situation in the first place
Ponder what it is that you are thinking that causes their reaction
Deal with your own stress responsibly
Communicate from a place of compassion and take time away if you are upset before speaking
Look at what it is you are doing, AND not doing, and go back to your relationship agreements (if there has been no agreements made, make them)
Communicate your needs and listen to the needs of your partner
Compromise

Instead of blaming everyone else in your life for your problems, you could:
Eliminate or maintain minimal contact with certain people in your life that are toxic
Talk to a Therapist, Counselor, Healer or Coach to sort things out
Start a Journal
Go for a Daily Walk
Go to Yoga or Exercise
Get a Massage, Acupuncture, Chiropractic care, or a Spiritual/Holistic Healing Session
Meditate
Start or recommit to your own personal growth
Find friends on the same page as you (similar goals, beliefs, passions, etc).
Try Ayurveda, Aromatherapy or Flower Essences
Recommit to a Spiritual Practice
Look at yourself!

What do you do to detoxify your life?
If you’re unhappy, do you keep doing the same things, or do you consider a new approach?If your friends are making you miserable, do you keep them in your life or find new friends?
What are beliefs that are making you miserable?
Do you maintain a physically healthy diet, and if you feel lethargic or bloated, what do you do to detox?
Do you keep your home clutter free, and if there are things you want to get rid of, what will you do to remove them?
If you’re unhappy in your relationship, what will you do to make a difference?
What are new approaches you will take with your children to bring you closer?
What practices will you do over the next few weeks to relax your mind and nourish your spirits?
The next time you feel an argument coming on, will you walk away or pursue the conversation in that moment?
If your family or neighbors irk you, what will you do to harbor compassion?
What is one thing you will do over the next week to take care of YOU?

During the times of Seasons Changing, it is important to take a broad perspective and look at your whole life at large. During times of seasons changing, often also what show’s up are changes in our viewpoints, our desires, our passions and our focus. Contemplate what the summer will bring you or what it could do to cause you suffering, and change your approach so the next couple months for you are rewarding, satisfying and enjoyable!

“Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you’ve got.” Jim Rohn