Arousal as Energy Movement

Arousal as Energy Movement

Arousal as Energy MovementArousal as Energy Movement

What happens after a relationship ends, or you have taken an enormous amount of time to be alone? (The relationship might as well be over if that’s the case). And definitely the case if your partner had a fear of intimacy (See recent posts from other blog MyLoverMyBestFriend.wordpress.com for more writing on fear of intimacy).

What happens to your body after you’ve gone through the grieving and letting go process, and you’re ready to start dating again, or having an interest in connecting with others after all that time?

What usually happens, is your body will start telling you that you are ready. It will have desires with certain people you are attracted to, or give you sudden urges and nudges to push you to talk to someone. But what happens when you’re by yourself, and you are starting to finally open up again after all that time alone? Your body may have waves of energy movement, or jolts of sudden arousal. It may feel orgasmic, but then when you go to pleasure yourself, you may still feel certain blocks to experience a full body experience of arousal, i.e.. orgasm.

The arousal is your bodies way of telling you that you have gotten through most of the grieving process of your ex lover (husband, wife, etc) and it has achieved a level of balance, equilibrium and harmony of energy and wants to move to a higher place of joy. You completed the cycle of sadness, solitude and aloneness after the hard core break up. You took the time you needed to rest, recover, release anxiety, stress and sadness from your previous beloved, and now your body has awaken, and it wants to wake you up to match how it feels.

It can happen anywhere; your kitchen while you are cooking a meal, your car while singing to a song you love, cleaning your home, reading, talking to a friend, or even meditating or taking a bath. When your body is ready to open to a higher level of pleasure, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or who you are with. It will move and rise within you no matter what!

If you talking to a friend in person or over the phone and you definitely don’t want that friendship to turn into something different, be careful! You may want to hang up the phone or leave the current situation to allow your body to experience how it’s feeling. Otherwise, that friendship might just turn romantic pretty quickly!

If you want the friendship to turn into something else, and your friend had been waiting for you to be ready and open, awesome! Or, you are neutral and don’t care if this person will remain your friend or turn into something else, that may be time to have a discussion. However, if you have the discussion on the spot, changes will happen almost dramatically! A more rational stand would be to walk away, take care of yourself, and then talk to your friend later after the feeling of sexual arousal and frustration has calmed down.

I’ve discovered a practice called the Deer Exercise for women and men in my recent search on this topic. This is a taoist energy practice to help move and awaken someone who has been suppressed or shut down for a long time. If you are no longer suppressed and feel the energy already excited, this practice may actually just balance you and help release some of the pent up sexual frustration, and perhaps help you relieve the sexual frustration a little easier. However, I find the Shamanic Breathwork and Tantra Meditations to be more powerful. Whatever you choose is your choice, and your body will let you know what is best!

Feel free to give the Deer Exercise a try. Who knows it might help! If anything it will help keep your energies open and your body in overall health and vitality! Enjoy!

For women:

For men and women:

Heart Opening

Heart Opening

Heart Opening

I am so utterly and deeply grateful for this past weeks experience, of heart opening, divine inner union, peace and love, and deep connected healing intimacy. As a practitioner, I too, need nurturing, love and connectedness from those who are not my followers or clients, but also to those on a personal intimate level. It has been near one year since my Beloved and I parted ways, and I knew this time, it would sadly be the last. I’ve taken this past year in grieving, letting go, and doing what I could to heal my heart. However, the experience this past week took me over the edge of that heart opening in a way that has been needed for perhaps years.

I went to a spiritual retreat, one that had similarities near and dear to my heart. I’ve been going to see Amma since 1999, however, this event, was unique. Not only did I get to experience the love, kindness and healing of the guru who was leading the retreat, but also got to experience a connected love with a special being who was at this retreat. Perhaps we were breaking a rule, in connecting on an intimate level, however, my heart was screaming yes, and my spirit was leading the way. My soul made the choice to follow this feeling, and in doing so, my heart got to receive a deep connection of love that had kept it guarded for many years. A being who shares love, without concern, without judgment, or body armor, and can just be in the moment, listening, with presence, being intuitively guided, and following his own heart, speaks loudly to my own being. To be touched with divine presence, listening, and an inner knowing, left me speechless, and in absolute joy. My heart broke open as tears ran down my face. He had no idea how long I had been waiting for this heart connection, one that I cannot teach. This way of being must come from within. This way of being must already be known from the lover connecting to the lover. I cannot make another person learn how to be present, to know how to love without pressure, or neediness, clinginess, demanding energy or fear. Whoever, you are, you must come from a place of deep love, and this love is already a part of you. I am grateful to have connected with a being who could offer this, and offer it without expectation.

When a woman receives love in such a way, she has an opportunity to open up her flower, to open up her beauty, her radiance, her power, her pleasure and her joy. She cannot be forced to connect with another. She cannot be expected to be wide open immediately. She must trust her inner knowing, her instincts, and her truth. In this, an expansiveness arises and healing returns!

Love,

Asttarte

He inspired me to let go of worry, and write a book about a topic most definitely needed. I am jumping on this creative passion right now!

When You Want Your Husband and Someone else shows up!

When You Want Your Husband and Someone else shows up!

When You Want Your Husband and Someone Else Shows UpWhen You Want Your Husband and Someone Else Shows Up. This is the pitfall of many relationships. A woman is craving connection with the man she loves, and what happens is that her man is unavailable. He’s busy or preoccupied, or his interest has dwindled and he has other concerns and things he wants to focus on. She’s deeply saddened and desperate to gain his attention, but he’s always somewhere else, emotionally or physically.

In a Polyamorous Marriage this is perfectly fine. There is an agreement between both partners that they are allowed to be with other lovers, so long as the structure of the relationship is maintained. However, if the foundation of the marriage is rocky, or there has been very little connection, intimacy and commitment between the two partners, straying from the marriage can feel like cheating, or in Christian terms “committing adultery”.

When you’re in love with your husband (or significant beloved) and there is no intimacy, your heart tears up inside. You want his commitment. You want his willingness to do what it takes to be there for you, stay by your side and give you his all! But when you have waited and waited for him to show up in this way, and all of a sudden someone else shows up, most of the time, it is like God giving you the gift you have been waiting for! You fall prey to this new amazing being that you are so deeply drawn to, and your wish has been granted.  Then the big question is: what do you do next? Do you continue to wait for the man you deeply love, or do you continue to fall into the arms of another? How long are you truly willing to wait? If waiting is putting your life on hold, perhaps waiting is not what your supposed to be doing anyway. Perhaps, you ARE supposed to be enjoying life and just surrender to what life gives you!

Read more posts for women at HealingSacredWoman.com

When You’re In The Mood

When You’re In The Mood

When You're in the Mood

When You’re in the Mood and Your Hunny Isn’t

A story and some Coaching:

Upon waking in the morning, I was horny as a banshee. I looked over at my hunny and he was simply out cold! I was up and ready to go. Our son was sleeping in the bed beside us. Since we have a toddler, we often sneak out of the bedroom before he wakes and slip into another room to have a rendezvous in the morning, or a late hour snack. I tried comforting him to waking, but he still would not move. I cuddled him, carressed him, moved my body into his, leaned into his shoulder and put my face on his shoulder, breathing and making deep sounds… letting him know in my own way I was fully alert, awake and ready for some love making! My hips were rocking, I was breathing heavy and I tried taking his hand to lift him and walk him into the other room, but he did not budge.

What do you do when you’re excited to connect to your loved one and they are either not interested, not horny or are just completely exhausted?

In the past I would massage him and caress him for about a half an hour to wake him up and eventually he would, but this time, we were running out of time and doing all my tactics of convincing and seducing for a half an hour was not an option. And then, I went to set up the other space and when I came back he was cuddled up nicely next to our son and solid as a rock in this next place. Within a few minutes our son woke up, and that opportunity was lost.

I started grunting, and still wanted to escape to the other room; letting our son be alone for 5 to 10 minutes. It didn’t happen.

So, instead I decide to shift all that creative energy to getting ready in the morning, getting my son’s schoolbox ready and to make myself available for clients later. Thanksgiving is this week and we agreed we would sleep together Thanksgiving night and I would sacrifice a portion of my Friday morning to be with him, with the intention to sneak again somewhere we could be alone for a few minutes. Our schedules are conflicted with time to be alone, and with his new job, my role as a mother, and our son either being in school or with one of us, being alone isn’t always easy. So, I take advantage of those few opportunity’s we do have, and trust that eventually we will take another date night alone, and make some time for a couple hours of a rendezvous for ourselves!

The best way to deal with these kinds of situations is to 1). come from a place of non-attachment, 2) do not judge, 3). speak words of kindness, 4). accept your partners needs, wants and their concerns as well, 5). make a new promise or agreement for the future, and 6). take care of yourself today in the best way for you!

Asttarte

Pink Tantra

Withholding Your Love

Withholding Your Love

Withholding Your Love

When you withhold love from the people you love, what is it you are gaining? Are you withholding in order to protect yourself? Are you holding onto resentment or regret? How long will you continue to hold onto these feelings? Are you doing it because you feel you are right? How does it feel to be right? Does it make you feel strong, proud, confident or some other emotion?

 

Choosing to be right is the old paradigm of communication and only creates distance, separation, upset, and keeps your-self under control; rather than dealing with how you really feel; a loss for the connection to the person you love.

 

How many people do you choose to withhold your love from? If you think about it, there are probably at least half a dozen people you are withholding love from. If you are not feeling utter peace and joy in the presence of those you care about, you are withholding love; even in the subtlest capacity.

 

Withholding your love keeps your body in an armored state; your chest becomes tighter, your breathing is more shallow, your body feels rigid and anxious.

 

When you’re upset at the person you love the most, and holding on to anger in your body while taking your time to get over the anger, having a hard time releasing the anger, or hoping eventually it will go away, no matter what you will be withholding your love from this person, AND withholding love from yourself as well. When you are not present to your anger or upset, it may feel like it is the other persons fault. But in fact, you are the only person who can forgive and let this go.

What do you do when you are upset at the person you love?

Do you take hours, weeks, months, or years to forgive?

When you have upset or anger, do you decide to date someone else, hang out with your friends instead, ….

 

 

Pink Tantra

Awakening Passion With Art

Awakening Passion With Art


Sometimes when inspiration calls, and there is no time for being alone or with a loved one, one way of expressing yourself is through the arts. And, in my experience, being with my little one, alone in our home, I took to my paint markers. And, in the process I found myself feeling excited for having completed a piece of art, even better that it was starting to look beautiful, and even more so that I did it myself and completed the task at hand.

Art is an excellent tool used for healing and there is a unique therapy specialized in Psychotherapy where some become trained as Art Therapists. I find myself drawn so deeply to Art Therapy and when I am in need of expressing my own passion, and I have a toddler running around to take care of and absolutely no privacy of my own, I like to fall to writing and in today’s case, my beautiful paint markers.

I love painting and have not done so in a long time, but it brings up the reminder of how much I love this and brings me in touch with the feelings of excitement and fulfillment just for having done a piece of art. Art in itself is therapeutic to the mind, soothing to the emotions and meditative to the spirit. As much as I can, I’m going to take the rest of today immersed back in my vibrant colors and put my creative passions to use. And, in the process I feel my own passion and excitement for life come back alive, and be filled with expression to another level again!

www.SexBlissLifeCoach.blogspot.com Asttarte Deva