Integrity and Sexual Energy

Integrity and Sexual EnergyScenario: I am greeted by my ex-lover with a friendly hello. He shows up spontaneously where I tell him I’ll be. We speak in tongue with joy, ease and lightness. He asks to find out what I’m doing over the next few days, with enthusiasm, excitement, and curiosity. The next day I send information on events that look fun, and things we have in common. I hear nothing back. The day after, I send more information on very cool events, and hear nothing back. The next day, he finally responds, and says, “I never said we were definitely doing anything. I told you I may have had to work.” Now, I already had plans, but I was willing to be flexible to meet him. However, the lack of communication, being left in the dark, confused of if this person would want to meet or not, was emotionally and physically debilitating. Not in a real debilitating sense, however, a psychic one.

If someone you care for exclaims they want to get together, and leaves on that note, and then later completely disappears and doesn’t respond, its confusing for the psyche. It leaves someone in the unknown, and in a way, its how they keep their control on you. This then impacts the heart chakra. For women, and men, who care for their loved one, and were left feeling joyous they would meet very soon, but then never heard a word from them, its like giving mixed messages. The heart then is confused. The heart doesn’t know whether to be open, or shut down, out of this loved one saying one thing, feeling enthusiastic, and doing another, and being distant. I will go more in depth in the psychology of this on my lovers blog, however, here, I will discuss how this affects the heart chakra and ones sexual energy.

3dheartsufferingsm-a2d

When you leave your loved one thinking you’ll meet or at least talk in a day or two, are excited about the possibility, and then never hear from them, your spiritual body goes through a complex process of releasing someone’s lack of integrity. If you believe someone whole heartedly, at least to the point that their enthusiasm and encouragement on meeting was real, then you expect them to follow through with getting in contact.

However, when you hear nothing, you may begin to question:

  • why you trusted them in the first place,
  • why you were so excited and doubt yourself thinking maybe they never did want to meet
  • question if you were confused about their intentions
  • or perhaps be angry that they said one thing and did another
  • or perhaps try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they never confirmed anything

However, if someone said they wanted to do something and would be in touch, and then they don’t, they are clearly not telling the truth. They are giving you mixed messages and making you believe them, to either side, whether they wanted to meet, or didn’t want to. This is insanity and crazy. There’s no reason to believe someone like this. They are in. They are out. Who knows! It depends on what they feel like, and not on how you feel or what they said.

This affects the heart chakra, and the heart then shuts down. It may shut down to this person, but also to other people when you were wide open, loving, enthusiastic and trusting, to then being confused, perhaps sad, and closing off your trust. When the heart chakra gets toyed with, has sadness, disappointment, or feels betrayed, it then impacts the sexual arousal, the root and second chakras (the arousal of a female and male’s sexual organs), and erection for men would be difficult, and arousal and juiciness for women would disappear. This type of person is possibly harmful to someone’s psyche and best to walk away, unless you are unattached, and don’t care about an outcome either way, and have a laissez faire attitude about it. If you do care, and your feelings matter, find your enthusiasm with someone who can be trusted! You never know what you’re going to get with someone who can’t follow through with what they say. And, its certainly not fun! And we do want all the fun we can have, especially for the summer! So, as they say in one of my favorite movies: “Pish, tosh!” (Throw it away!)

 

Vulnerability into Pleasure

vulnerability into pleasureVulnerability into Pleasure

Many people think tantra is just a term and an excuse to be sexual and erotic.
That is the furthest from the truth of what tantra truly is.
The purpose of tantra is not to be erotic
But to be loved.
How is tantra a path to feel love, but not feel erotic?
The answer is, it’s both.
Safety and love must come before feeling sexual, period.
If someone tries to feel erotic before feeling safe and love,
they’re skipping too many steps ahead.
Go back a few steps, and you might end up where you want to be.
Maybe you don’t need to feel safe.
Maybe you don’t have a single bone of softness in you.
Maybe you can jump into the sexual, before the sensual.
There is a layer of vulnerability there, you are unwilling to see.
Consider every human has fragile emotions.
You might just be covering yours up with erotic energy.
Slow down a little bit, and you’ll feel love energy.
Give your partner a chance to catch up to your sexual energy,
and you’ll both be a match
And intimate love will never be the same.

Do you feel anxious, irritable or frustrated?
What is it you are not letting yourself feel?
What are the feelings that are hiding underneath the surface?
What emotions are you hiding from?
What feelings popped up in a moment, and then went away soon after?
The pop up feelings are a clue. Dig deeper.
Surrender to them. Breathe into them. Feel them.
Notice. Investigate. Become a detective to your own feelings.
Is it anger? Breathe into anger.
Is it sadness? Breathe into sadness.
It is regret? Breathe into regret.
Is it despair? Breathe into despair.
Is it joy? Breathe into joy.
Is it love? Breathe into love.
Any feeling you feel, and breathe into, will make the feeling bigger, and either move through your body and let go, or feel more love, more joy, and more pleasure as you breathe into them.
Breathing into anger, despair, regret, sadness is loving them, and they will surrender, breathe through you, drop into nothingness, and transform into pleasure.
Tantra is a path of healing.
What is it you are healing today?
What parts of yourself are you expanding?
How will you shift vulnerability into pleasure today?

No one is ever going to be the same energy level at exactly
the same time every time you desire it.
Someone is going to have to slow down and be patient for the other.
It’s never about forcing someone to meet you where you are,
But always about surrendering to meet them where they are.
Are you surrendering to your Beloved?
Are you making them feel safe, or threatened?
Are you putting frustration onto them, or love?
Can you go deeper into surrender with yourself?
With your lover?
It just might turn your frustration into bliss.
Don’t forget to breathe.
The breath is the key!
It is your vehicle. Your teacher. Your friend. Your lover.
Your life force. Your heart. A connection to your soul
Something SO much bigger than you.
It is your gift!
And you have it with you all the time.

Note: Read this again after meditating, and it will make more sense!

Love, Asttarte

Sacred Foot Massage

Sacred Foot MassageSacred Foot Massage

Bubbles, warm water, and lavender oil await your longing feet to be touched, pampered and adored for an hour of intimate bliss and love! To be touched, and embraced with kindness opens up the heart, clears ones energy, and allows one to surrender into the experience of receiving; being nurtured, pampered, appreciated, respected and offered unconditional love.

I love watching someone melt, and relax in peace, knowing they are in safe arms, cared for, and can surrender their true feelings. It is fulfilling to give the gift of love, and be received with gratitude that they allowed you to help release their stresses, sadness, or anxiety, and opened their heart.

Sacred Foot Massage is much more than a massage. It is a full body experience of bliss, energy cleansing, pampering, and opening up to the greater gift of ones own heart, as the heart melts its fears, worries, concerns and stresses, and can relax into the unknown, as though time was nonexistent. A true healing experience in formed, and with delight and trust, sometimes ones heart opens even greater and tears of love release from the body, as the stress leaves and changes form.

The opposite of stress and anxiety is bliss. As the body shifts the stress, it opens up to a kundalini wave of energy flowing that takes over and manifests as bliss. Bliss is a full body feeling of pleasure, however, pleasure does not necessarily mean sexual. It can mean a spiritual cleansing of ones own energy center. In many cases, however, orgasm manifests, and takes over inside and outside, as deeper breaths rise, energy expands and love abounds!

Sacred Foot Massage includes a consultation/coaching part of the session, discussion of current or recent issues, blocks and obstacles, and desires of where to arrive/goals to achieve. Then the session includes a hand to the heart, guided deep breathing, and then getting ready to soak the feet in a tub of warm bubbly water. Then massage is experienced on one foot at a time, dripping water to the rest of the leg, and massaging the rest of the leg. Then the other foot and leg is done. Often a blanket will rest over the upper part of the body, with a pillow behind the persons head and room to stretch out as they relax deeper. After the feet are done, deeper massing into the thighs is experienced, and then more of a sensual nature massage takes form. As the person surrenders they may experience full body orgasm, and as they come to rest, I may rest my hand on their heart again, or put my arm around them to allow them to surrender into the bliss and love just received. Sometimes it takes a moment to get grounded and integrate from this experience, so I will sit with them and hold them until they feel settled and ready to get up.

This is an example of one of the Spiritual Tantra Sessions I offer. There are many other examples.

Much Love and Blessings,

Asttarte

How All Sessions Go

how all sessions goHow All Sessions Go

No matter what you’re looking for, no matter what your focus is, your goals, intentions, or needs, or “program” you feel fits you best, we will always have a conversation and coaching part of a session, prior to anything else. Before meeting, we will have a pre-screening process to determine your level of spiritual experience, interest and what your next steps of spiritual growth are. Then we determine if we are going deeper into a spiritual healing session (which always precedes any tantra work), or if we are doing more of a Coaching Session, which always precedes any Sex or Intimacy Coaching as well.

Even if someone is coming for health reasons, holistic healing, general massage, or emotional healing (such as grief work, anxiety, depression, anger, a break up, a death in the family, a challenge with their relationship or their sexual concerns), we will still have a coaching aspect to any session.

If someone comes for Erectile Dysfunction, or Pre-mature Ejaculation, we will still have Coaching and/or Counseling prior to any Session, to determine if it is energetic and emotional reasons, or health related, and the best approach to take.

If someone comes for Intimacy Issues and is manifesting the wrong partner, we will go into Coaching, to determine what the pattern is, the history of all relationships, the types of relationships manifested, and the common theme of what all the issues in those relationships come up. We may do emotional healing or energy clearing to release the blocks to the previous partners, or go into a Cuddle Session and Chakra Healing work, however, Coaching and all sorts of talking is part of the session, and is addressed in the same session.

Prior to any hands on or touching aspect of any session, spiritual healing work takes place. Often it is a meditation, chakra clearing session, or a tantra meditation, however, there are other tools used prior to hands on work that may be needed, but it is not determined what is best until after meeting and the issues that are important to work on. (And, if a talking aspect to a session is needed and takes a larger amount of time, and then a spiritual healing is needed after, a longer session would be recommended, or multiple sessions to get all aspects covered).

Sometimes Reiki or Aura Clearing is needed in order to do any hands on work. Reiki energy helps moves the energetic blocks and frees up the space around a person so they radiate a higher frequency. The energy around a person is often more significant then their physical body, and any layers that are guarded or heavy will need cleansing before physical touch and closeness. If someone’s energy is too heavy, too chaotic, anxious or fear based, I will either suggest seeking solely Spiritual Healing (with myself or another practitioner first), or a professional therapist to do emotional healing work (or they can work with me on this level also if they feel comfortable). Then after these layers have been addressed, we can move into more physical healing work.

My site IntuitiveSoulHealings.com talks more about healing the aura, energy body, and spiritual healing. And my site, MyLoverMyBestFriend.wordpress.com talks more about the Coaching aspect of the sessions, however, here at TrueTantra.net we merge those worlds all together, and combine a whole body experience, of spiritual cleansing and rejuvenation, coaching/or counseling for deeper emotional healing, and tantra and intimacy for going deeper into joy, pleasure and love! Every step counts and one leads to the next layer of creating a full body experience of bliss, joy, and profound peace and satisfaction!

And even working on healing the emotional layers of a person, can certainly and DEFINITELY take one to joy! Underneath all challenging feelings is love, and no matter what lays on top, love is always waiting!

Angry Cock

AngryCockAngry Cock

It might sound funny, but it is exactly what energy radiates from someone’s shaft if he himself is angry! I don’t mean being angry in one moment either. I mean, if his over-all personality, energy and mood is the majority of the time filled with anger, frustration, resentment, annoyance or even sexual frustration. When a woman goes to massage a male’s genitals, however he is feeling on the inside, his deeper core emotions, his cock will feel the exact same thing!

The energy of a man’s cock will take on the energy of his entire self. And, if he is desiring to connect with his beloved, she too, will feel the anger radiating off of him. She will feel his annoyance, and frustration, his impatience, his neediness, and overall anger beaming energy right off of his sacred area, in addition to his heart chakra, and everywhere else around him.

If his energy is angry and filled with these emotions mentioned above, often times a woman won’t want to connect with him, or will have a difficult time, because that energy is not a welcoming feeling. That energy actually pushes people away in the opposite direction, probably the opposite too of what he wishes they would do. An angry cock feels toxic, heavy and the opposite of loving; exactly what women desire to feel. And, if he is trying to connect to a woman, the best way to go about it, is for him to clear his angry energy first.

How Do You Clear Your Angry Cock?

The first step is to acknowledge that you might be angry. Even, if the majority of the time you think you are pretty peaceful, consider, that its possible your energy is not as peaceful as you think.

It’s possible that your cock is not angry, however, it still may have stress-filled energy around it that is causing the people, or person, in your life to have a certain reaction. And, even if that reaction is that she cannot orgasm or orgasms very little, that too is an indication that your energy is not as pure as your lover needs it to be.

The next step after acknowledging that your cock, and whole energy being, might have a certain frequency that is causing women around you to have a certain reaction, is to do your personal work.

How do you do that? The term processing might be overrated, but that’s one practice that is helpful. Find someone to talk to about your feelings, get it out in the open, and stop trying to deal with the stuff in your life all alone!

The next thing would be to take on spiritual or peace inducing practices; such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, chi gong, acupuncture, walks in nature, baths, drinking tea, etc.

Beyond this is to get a massage, but not just for the sexual frustration; the whole gamut! Get a massage, or energy healing session to release pent up energy in your entire being; your neck, shoulders, chest, back, hips, thighs, calves, hamstrings, arms, hands, feet, ankles, etc. And, when it’s time to remove pent up energy in your genitals, do it with consciousness, not with any intention to release an orgasm (not for a while at least), and remove any blocked energy of anger around your shaft.

This post is not just for women guys! It’s for men to truly get your woman, and help yourself so that you can clear and open yourself to be a match for what she desires; the authentic loving you she desired when you first met, those many moons ago!

So clear your energy and your cock feels peaceful, loving, and ultimately sexy! Isn’t that what you want your loved one(s) to feel from you anyway? 🙂

Slow Sex is Best

Slow Sex is Best

Sex, sex, sex! Everyone loves to talk about sex! But sex to one person may mean something completely different to someone else. To one person it may mean going out to dinner, having a few glasses of wine, and coming home to jump in the bed with their hunny. To another, it may mean to stay in, put everything on hold, and do it right there on the spot, spontaneously wherever they feel like it. And to another, it may mean slow foreplay, lots of intimate massage, then taking as long as possible before removing their external articles, and moving as slowly as possible after.

Most people, and in particular, most guys, think the faster the better, but that can’t be further from the truth. Guys, and women too, feel a peak of desire, and want to rush to feel some form of satisfaction. They crave the feeling of pleasure, get impatient and even become aggressive with their own body. They almost in a sense, are taking out that sense of impatience and anger on them-self, for having waited to be intimate, and don’t realize that the slower they go, they more healing, nurturing and joy they experience within. And, too, the slowness creates an energy flow, the chi, and taoist energy movement, that allows even an emotional connection to their body, feelings and experience to take place. Sometimes, the slower, the more sensual and the more emotional. Often, there is no healing without slowness, no emotional connection, no vulnerability, no sadness, and also no electric orgasm either.

There are many vibrators out on the market, and many of them, have a speed that is much too fast to allow the person to have a true tantric emotional connection or healing experience. These ‘toys’ are targeted more for people who are unable to orgasm without them, and all too often, they over-stimulate a woman, creating a somewhat dependence on the toys, and it sets the woman up for being unable to have any pleasure or release with her own partner (or herself for that matter). She then needs the toy after being with her partner, and then her husband, or boyfriend, etc. feels left out, unloved, not included in her pleasure, and it sets him up to feel failure as a lover; which is probably completely off base. She just trained herself to received pleasure from some foreign object, and can’t experience pleasure without it. Guys, it’s not your fault!

However, there is hope! Women can retrain themselves to slow down, and men can feel the satisfaction of connecting with his sweetheart and beloved deeply once again! First, I’d like to say, is that it IS possible. You first have to put the toy away. Hide it in a trunk, or the attic for a while. Try something different. Try slowing down, breathing, working with your own energy, your own breath, a gentle touch, and let your emotions come to the surface. It will create a spiral and circulating effect of self love, love for your partner, and a connection much deeper than two people experiencing a superficial orgasm at two separate times and in two different ways can ever do.

If two people in a relationship, are both desiring to be sexual, get close, but one is angry, another is frustrated, depressed, or experiencing anything other than love, fast sex often seems like the quick solution to connect and attempt to make all those feelings go away. But, those feelings don’t go away, without acknowledging them, truly feeling them, being with them, and loving them into disappearance.

Slow sex, and slow intimacy is the only way to truly acknowledge your partner, love him or her, and create a connection that is worth experiencing. Why rush when you can have so much more? 

 

Arousal as Energy Movement

Arousal as Energy Movement

Arousal as Energy MovementArousal as Energy Movement

What happens after a relationship ends, or you have taken an enormous amount of time to be alone? (The relationship might as well be over if that’s the case). And definitely the case if your partner had a fear of intimacy (See recent posts from other blog MyLoverMyBestFriend.wordpress.com for more writing on fear of intimacy).

What happens to your body after you’ve gone through the grieving and letting go process, and you’re ready to start dating again, or having an interest in connecting with others after all that time?

What usually happens, is your body will start telling you that you are ready. It will have desires with certain people you are attracted to, or give you sudden urges and nudges to push you to talk to someone. But what happens when you’re by yourself, and you are starting to finally open up again after all that time alone? Your body may have waves of energy movement, or jolts of sudden arousal. It may feel orgasmic, but then when you go to pleasure yourself, you may still feel certain blocks to experience a full body experience of arousal, i.e.. orgasm.

The arousal is your bodies way of telling you that you have gotten through most of the grieving process of your ex lover (husband, wife, etc) and it has achieved a level of balance, equilibrium and harmony of energy and wants to move to a higher place of joy. You completed the cycle of sadness, solitude and aloneness after the hard core break up. You took the time you needed to rest, recover, release anxiety, stress and sadness from your previous beloved, and now your body has awaken, and it wants to wake you up to match how it feels.

It can happen anywhere; your kitchen while you are cooking a meal, your car while singing to a song you love, cleaning your home, reading, talking to a friend, or even meditating or taking a bath. When your body is ready to open to a higher level of pleasure, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or who you are with. It will move and rise within you no matter what!

If you talking to a friend in person or over the phone and you definitely don’t want that friendship to turn into something different, be careful! You may want to hang up the phone or leave the current situation to allow your body to experience how it’s feeling. Otherwise, that friendship might just turn romantic pretty quickly!

If you want the friendship to turn into something else, and your friend had been waiting for you to be ready and open, awesome! Or, you are neutral and don’t care if this person will remain your friend or turn into something else, that may be time to have a discussion. However, if you have the discussion on the spot, changes will happen almost dramatically! A more rational stand would be to walk away, take care of yourself, and then talk to your friend later after the feeling of sexual arousal and frustration has calmed down.

I’ve discovered a practice called the Deer Exercise for women and men in my recent search on this topic. This is a taoist energy practice to help move and awaken someone who has been suppressed or shut down for a long time. If you are no longer suppressed and feel the energy already excited, this practice may actually just balance you and help release some of the pent up sexual frustration, and perhaps help you relieve the sexual frustration a little easier. However, I find the Shamanic Breathwork and Tantra Meditations to be more powerful. Whatever you choose is your choice, and your body will let you know what is best!

Feel free to give the Deer Exercise a try. Who knows it might help! If anything it will help keep your energies open and your body in overall health and vitality! Enjoy!

For women:

For men and women:

Birth Trauma Healing

Birth Trauma Healing

Birth Trauma HealingBirth Trauma Healing (blog for women)

I had an amazing healing session yesterday, and it was so eye opening I thought I would share it with you. The process was a process of discovery. I had no idea what would show up, but the result was enlightening, empowering and transformational. I discovered later that Charles Muir uses this same exact technique to his students of Tantra who wish to become Daka’s and Dakinis. My experience was beautiful as well.

The intention was a yoni massage, for healing any trauma, anger, or pain stored in the lower chakras. I wanted to address my own issues related to being drawn to unhealthy men, and attachment to those who cannot love me in return. “I am determined!” I said. We were in discovery of The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka. That in itself was interesting, fun and enlightening (to find out what animal you are based on shamanic teachings is pretty fun).

As we went deeper into our healing session, I had the urge to have something “fill me on both sides!” I wanted the feeling of pressure inside my inner walls. We then discovered the pressure my body was asking for was right on the bone, and this is exactly where trauma is stored inside the woman, from rape, abusive relationships and giving birth to a baby. Many women are unable to heal this trauma from just simple talk therapy, or even rape specialists. The emotional energy gets “stuck” in the bone, and in the fascia right on the inner lining of the bone where pressure would have been experienced from the baby’s tiny skull, or from a man penetrating a woman without the woman’s consent, agreement or desire. This was eye opening, and every woman deserves to clear these blocks, if they have them.

Birth Trauma Healing

I discovered around the area of 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock is where most women stored the most rage, trauma and pain and as the giver “watch out!” Her Kali like energy and emotions will rise to the surface and she may want to rip you a new head if you’re inside her performing this healing. I learned that one woman in the tantra training said, “Get the f..k out of me!” This woman had not healed any of her rape yet. I have actually healed a lot of my own trauma, but I had not cleared any birth trauma, and did not even know it was possible. As I got present to my experience, I noticed, “that really hurts!!!” and then I started to really cry, with a little embarrassment. When we went around the clock again and found the Kali spot on me, my friend who was giving the healing said, “Ok, this is the Kali spot you may have anger here.” And, I said, “I’m not angry. Ok, that hurts like hell. What the f**k?” And started pulling on his shirt and smacked it. He said, “Ha ha. Yeah, you’re not angry.” And, I laughed. I thought I handled it pretty darn well actually.

I’ve taken healing trainings to heal trauma for women, and trainings to help them open up to their sexual arousal again from being blocked, but this was awesome! I needed something deeper and this was perfect! How cool is it to receive training when you’re already a practitioner, and can learn one on one pretty quickly! I love it. I discovered this technique can help women who have been sexually shut down to really open back up again to who they were before. And right after the session, I wasn’t afraid to walk through my friends home naked to get my clothes that were in a bag on the opposite side of the room. How cool is that? 🙂 (my friend was outside on the phone, but still that’s progress!)

See original post at blog for women at HealingSacredWoman.com