When You’re in the Mood and Your Hunny Isn’t
A story and some Coaching:
Upon waking in the morning, I was horny as a banshee. I looked over at my hunny and he was simply out cold! I was up and ready to go. Our son was sleeping in the bed beside us. Since we have a toddler, we often sneak out of the bedroom before he wakes and slip into another room to have a rendezvous in the morning, or a late hour snack. I tried comforting him to waking, but he still would not move. I cuddled him, carressed him, moved my body into his, leaned into his shoulder and put my face on his shoulder, breathing and making deep sounds… letting him know in my own way I was fully alert, awake and ready for some love making! My hips were rocking, I was breathing heavy and I tried taking his hand to lift him and walk him into the other room, but he did not budge.
What do you do when you’re excited to connect to your loved one and they are either not interested, not horny or are just completely exhausted?
In the past I would massage him and caress him for about a half an hour to wake him up and eventually he would, but this time, we were running out of time and doing all my tactics of convincing and seducing for a half an hour was not an option. And then, I went to set up the other space and when I came back he was cuddled up nicely next to our son and solid as a rock in this next place. Within a few minutes our son woke up, and that opportunity was lost.
I started grunting, and still wanted to escape to the other room; letting our son be alone for 5 to 10 minutes. It didn’t happen.
So, instead I decide to shift all that creative energy to getting ready in the morning, getting my son’s schoolbox ready and to make myself available for clients later. Thanksgiving is this week and we agreed we would sleep together Thanksgiving night and I would sacrifice a portion of my Friday morning to be with him, with the intention to sneak again somewhere we could be alone for a few minutes. Our schedules are conflicted with time to be alone, and with his new job, my role as a mother, and our son either being in school or with one of us, being alone isn’t always easy. So, I take advantage of those few opportunity’s we do have, and trust that eventually we will take another date night alone, and make some time for a couple hours of a rendezvous for ourselves!
The best way to deal with these kinds of situations is to 1). come from a place of non-attachment, 2) do not judge, 3). speak words of kindness, 4). accept your partners needs, wants and their concerns as well, 5). make a new promise or agreement for the future, and 6). take care of yourself today in the best way for you!